IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility.

#countries #children #work #people #responsibility
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Nowadays in our society, some
children
Use synonyms
 have
obligation
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an obligation
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 only with studies, but
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
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 have to divide the time in study and
work
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, maybe to help the family with the budget of the house. Some people believe
that is
Linking Words
 not correct a child makes effort to
work
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, but another part of
population
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the population
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 is in accord with the idea that
work
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 is
reward
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a reward
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 and can help. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will examine those reasons, as well as give my own opinion. All
children
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 should be protected and taken care
by
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of by
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 parents and society, as well as, they should be incentivized to learn and nourished, in the end, parents are responsible for the well-being of their kids. The reason why some people do not agree that
children
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 could have a paid
work
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,
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apply
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 is because sometimes the
work
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 can be damage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
childhood. They believe
children
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 should only play and study, without more responsibilities in their lives. Undoubtedly, that no
children
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 must be exposed a forced
work
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 with hazards their health or integrality,
consequently
Linking Words
 the rights of
children
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 must be respected. But
on the other hand
Linking Words
, the
work
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 can be pleasured to
children
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 if it made according to needs and specific ages. When
children
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work
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 in a paid job, they learn about responsibilities, the value of the money and they can be stimulated to think
in
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about
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 social issues of the world. These benefits help the child grows up and becomes an adult more aware and sensible with real problems.
For instance
Linking Words
, one of the big reasons to have many adults involved in debits, to make end meet is because they do not knowledge about the real value of the money, which could
be learn
Change the verb form
be learned
be learning
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on
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in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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childhood.
Hence
Linking Words
, I agree with the idea that healthy paid
work
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 can be efficacy for
children
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. In conclusion, not overtaking the rights and benefits, kids should be motivated to
work
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 to learn more about financial education, for them to put into practice in the future.
Submitted by larissafelipin on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Child labor
  • Exploitation
  • Minimum age
  • Work experience
  • Survival
  • Taking responsibility
  • Education
  • Poverty
  • Legal restrictions
  • Physical toll
  • Psychological impact
  • Cultural perceptions
  • International conventions
  • Economic impact
  • Work-study programs
  • Skilled labor
  • Unskilled labor
  • Developing economies
  • Moral implications
  • Professional development
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