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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More and more students are moving to foreign countries for higher studies. Do its advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

#students #countries #studies
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Nowadays, youngsters are very concerned about their tertiary
education
 because their whole life is dependent on that.In my perspective , the merits of
this
 notion outnumber its
demirts
Correct your spelling
demerits
demits
 and will explain in
this
 essay. On the one hand, there are many advantages of brain drain ,
firstly
, it
broaden
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broadens
show examples
 the horizons of students ,as in many nations the governments are not providing quality academics to students , so for the sake of attaining proper studies , young ones are moving to
another
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
show examples
countries
.
For example
, in
India
Add a comma
,India
show examples
 many state authorities like Punjab and Haryana are not providing good facilities in
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
 sector and due to
this
 tutees are shifting to
another
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
show examples
countries
 for getting proper
education
 and it is very beneficial for their entire life because of advancement in competition in every educational field .
Secondly
, it
is act
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acts
show examples
 as a boon for students to do
jobs
 in foreign
countries
, as we
seen
Add the auxiliary verb
saw
have seen
show examples
 in many
countries
 people are
strullgling
Correct your spelling
struggling
 for finding occupations .To exemplify , in 2008 the reporters of The Tribune newspaper took a survey in Pakistan and they concluded that around 40% of individuals were unemployed but after moving to overseas
countries
 they easily find
jobs
 according to their taste and it is very helpful for them to earn money for meeting their both ends .
Hence
 , foreign
countries
 are providing better amenities in
education
 and in
jobs
. On the opposite side , in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 there is one disadvantage behind
this
 scenario. As we all know that
college going
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college-going
show examples
 scholars are the back of the society and they are
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
 ones who have the abilities to take part in the development of a particular country and if they are going to
another areas
Replace the adjective
another area
other areas
show examples
 and it
also
 affect the economy of that country.
For example
,
last
 year India
face
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faces
show examples
heavy
Correct article usage
a heavy
show examples
 loss in the economy because approximately 5 lakhs of
dewellers
Correct your spelling
dwellers
jewellers
 were shifted in Canada and Australia. To conclude , I believe that in
this
 era ,
maximum
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the maximum
show examples
 number of masses are doing higher study
couses
Correct your spelling
courses
causes
 in
another nations
Replace the adjective
another nation
other nations
show examples
 because of lack of availabilities in
educational
Add an article
the educational
show examples
 field and it is
also
 helpful for doing
jobs
 in that areas.So it has immense benefits .
Submitted by kamaljeet9592396471 on

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