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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which type of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #type #benefit
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Retirement
age
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 is an
age
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 when every working individual takes a break from
work
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 and gets paid for the services they have done for their
company
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. Some sociologists believe that having a fixed evacuation
age
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 for everybody irrespective of their occupation is unfair, and certain
workers
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 should be allowed to take an early withdrawal. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 argument and I will indicate my view with examples.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, people tend to become weak as they grow older. Different occupations demand different kinds of skills. Certain
workers
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 need physical
strength
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 to perform their duties.
This
Linking Words
 physical
strength
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 and stamina reduce with
age
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. While other occupations like office
work
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 demand less physical energy.
Hence
Linking Words
,
workers
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 whose
work
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 demands more physical energy need to be given early withdrawal.
This
Linking Words
 can be illustrated by the
workers
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 in the coal mine whose
work
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 demands
strength
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 and stamina which deteriorates as they grow older.
However
Linking Words
, an employee sitting in a library does not need to have much physical
strength
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
, people who have served a lot for a
company
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 for a longer duration could be given early evacuation. Certain labourers who have dedicated most of their life working for a
company
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 should be allowed to reap the benefits of a pullout at an early
age
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.
For instance
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, my father started working for a
company
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 in India at the
age
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 of 20. He was allowed to take early retirement by considering the tenure of his
work
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 in the
company
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. In conclusion, having a common evacuation
age
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 for all kinds of employees is unfair. employees whose
work
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 demands more physical energy and
workers
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 who have served their
company
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 for a longer duration should be allowed to take early retirement.
Submitted by Chandan Kumar Singh on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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