IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The number of people working online from home has grown in some countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

#people #home #countries
Nowadays,
people
 all over the world have suffered from Covid 19, which make workers move toward online. It has both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
positive and negative things. From now on,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would discuss them. On the one hand, there are
bunch
Add an article
a bunch
show examples
 of benefits through home working.
First
 of all, it is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 known fact that workers who make use of online could work their job,whenever or wherever they are. When they have to contact with foreign
business
 partner, they need only a few minutes by
telecomminicating
Correct your spelling
telecommunicating
 without
needs
Correct article usage
the needs
show examples
 of going to abroad, which
also
 can
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
saving
Change preposition
to saving
show examples
 money and time.
Although
 they get up before the very time of
meeting
Add an article
the meeting
show examples
, it doesn't matter if they have electronic devices
such
 as computer or laptop.
In addition
, as becoming a society
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
people
 need self-isolation, staying at home became a significantly crucial way for prevention of
Corona-virus
Correct your spelling
Corona virus
show examples
.
Therefore
, it
also
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 human beings safety.
On the other hand
, housing work has some negative factors. I argue it obviously could cause depression and dramatic stress. It's because they just communicate with their coworkers and businessmen
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online. Going
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
outside regularly and talking with
people
 directly could make positive energy.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other words, it could make workers isolated and feel lonely. Working at the workplace could be helpful to make good results in their job.
Furthermore
, on the
business
 level, companies might have difficulties in making their
business
parters
Correct your spelling
partners
show examples
 since sometimes some
organizaions
Correct your spelling
organizations
 make successful contracts when they make comfortable atmosphere inviting their dinner party
in direct
Correct your spelling
indirect
show examples
.
Thus
, these features could result in
failure
Correct article usage
the failure
show examples
 of their
business
. In conclusion, as
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 mentioned above, changing into
online
Add an article
the online
show examples
 world, it is necessary that
people
 have to
adopt
Correct your spelling
adapt
show examples
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 world. For doing it, we should know what kinds of pros and cons working
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online has.
Submitted by gustj8760 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote work
  • telecommuting
  • flexibility
  • commuting
  • work-life balance
  • autonomy
  • productivity
  • focus
  • job opportunities
  • social interaction
  • isolation
  • boundaries
  • motivation
  • discipline
  • resources
  • support
  • sedentary
  • physically active
  • responsibilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: