Some people think that cultural traditions will be destroyed when they are used as money-making machines aimed at tourists, other people believes that it is the only way to save such traditions in the world today. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #traditions #machines #tourists #world

It is argued by some that

culture

Replace the word

cultural

show examples

heritages

will be damaged essentially when aimed at making a profit from

tourists

, while others hold a perspective that human beings’ many cultural

traditions

can be protected and

reserved

Correct your spelling

preserved

show examples

only through

commercialization

. I would

content

Correct your spelling

contend

show examples

that both views are reasonable but one-sided. It is understandable that many people insist that cultural

traditions

can benefits from

commercialization

, after all,

this

might bring an area or a government much more money, which will be beneficial to not only the development of an area’s economy but

also

the protection of cultural

traditions

. Precisely, when a government is conducting a cultural programme, the place under its administration will be packed with an increasing number of

tourists

. The fact that these people go about their daily business, leisure and recreational activities,

such

as shopping, diet and so on, would increase relevant institutions’ incomes, including hotels, restaurants and so forth, and

therefore

rise

Correct your spelling

raise

show examples

the government’s revenue. With adequate money, a richer authority can contribute more to the protection and spread of cultural conventions.

Nevertheless

commercialization

can

also

cause some negative impacts on our cultural

traditions

. The excessive purpose of money-making may force some cultural

heritages

to lose their own nature. It is not rare to see on

daily

Add an article

a daily

show examples

basis that some scenic spots carry out cultural activities for the reservation of some folk arts,

such

as folk dances ritual activities and folk music, but really for making a profit. In general, after visiting or

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

, many

tourists

only buy a variety of souvenirs

instead

of getting

deeper

Add an article

a deeper

show examples

understanding of the historical background and forms of the traditional arts. It seems that attaching cultural

traditions

with

commercialization

cannot necessarily increase the public’s knowledge about these

traditions

themselves. In my opinion, even though some negative results might be led by people’s main purpose of utilizing cultural

traditions

to earn money, considering the fact that those invaluable

heritages

are getting extinct and those needs to be preserved, it is not an offence to get some earnings from the

tourists

who are enthusiastic to learn about the cultural aspects. But

commercialization

should not be seen as

only

Add an article

the only

show examples

access to the reservation of the

heritages

since some cultural conventions can be encouraged by education and public promotion.

Submitted by sjf199447 on Sat Jun 05 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

373 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Task 1 – Write about the following topic: A friend has agreed to look after your house and pet while you are on holiday. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: give contact details for when you are away, give instructions about how to care for your pet, describe other household duties you would like your friend to undertake. When giving contact details, you do NOT need to write any addresses; something like the name of a friend you are staying with or a holiday destination is fine. The format for this IELTS Writing task is simple. Just begin your letter as follows:
I am glad that you agreed to give your time to look after my house and my dog John while I am on Holiday in India. As in India, I am planning to stay with Drasti so you can contact her in case you need any help.
4.5
band
Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision? How can these problems be solved?
With the advancement of modern technology and globalization, In this contemporary era, Many children are unruled and are liberal on online networks, even claiming that misusing social media. This essay outlines the reasons and solutions to mitigate this problem.
6
band
There is a trend of increasing amounts of consumer goods, which leads to environmental problems. What are the reasons for this trend? Give your own opinion and solutions.
There is a trend of increasing amounts of consumer goods, which leads to environmental problems. What are the reasons for this trend? Give your own opinion and solutions. With the time demand for things increasing it does not illustrate any possibility of lowering it needs. The modern man does require more staff than ever before, which causes difficulties in delivering them in that extreme amount as well as cheap industrial production. In this essay, I will talk about why those wants have been raised, open a few reasons for that and a couple of potential solutions to eliminate the cause.
7.5
band
Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?
It is well known that there is a lot of dangerous information on websites; therefore, some people believe that local forces should outlaw harmful content. But, in my opinion, governments must not ban any content on the Internet because it damages people's freedom and parents need to control their kids by themselves.
6
band
Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Recently,the competitiveness of the job market has been rising at an alarming rate, thus, some are claiming that students should be engaged in studies for at least 18 years. Although there are pros and cons, I totally agree with this above notion,which will be discussed in the following essay.

Some people think that cultural traditions will be destroyed when they are used as money-making machines aimed at tourists, other people believes that it is the only way to save such traditions in the world today. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision? How can these problems be solved?

There is a trend of increasing amounts of consumer goods, which leads to environmental problems. What are the reasons for this trend? Give your own opinion and solutions.

Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?