Some people think that cultural traditions will be destroyed when they are used as money-making machines aimed at tourists, other people believes that it is the only way to save such traditions in the world today. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #traditions #machines #tourists #world

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It is argued by some that

culture

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cultural

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heritages

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will be damaged essentially when aimed at making a profit from

tourists

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, while others hold a perspective that human beings’ many cultural

traditions

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can be protected and

reserved

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preserved

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only through

commercialization

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. I would

content

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contend

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that both views are reasonable but one-sided. It is understandable that many people insist that cultural

traditions

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can benefits from

commercialization

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, after all,

this

Linking Words

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might bring an area or a government much more money, which will be beneficial to not only the development of an area’s economy but

also

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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the protection of cultural

traditions

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. Precisely, when a government is conducting a cultural programme, the place under its administration will be packed with an increasing number of

tourists

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. The fact that these people go about their daily business, leisure and recreational activities,

such

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as shopping, diet and so on, would increase relevant institutions’ incomes, including hotels, restaurants and so forth, and

therefore

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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

rise

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raise

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the government’s revenue. With adequate money, a richer authority can contribute more to the protection and spread of cultural conventions.

Nevertheless

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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,

commercialization

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can

also

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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

cause some negative impacts on our cultural

traditions

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. The excessive purpose of money-making may force some cultural

heritages

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to lose their own nature. It is not rare to see on

daily

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a daily

The noun phrase daily basis seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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basis that some scenic spots carry out cultural activities for the reservation of some folk arts,

such

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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as folk dances ritual activities and folk music, but really for making a profit. In general, after visiting or

traveling

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travelling

The spelling of traveling is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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, many

tourists

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only buy a variety of souvenirs

instead

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of getting

deeper

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a deeper

The noun phrase deeper understanding seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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understanding of the historical background and forms of the traditional arts. It seems that attaching cultural

traditions

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with

commercialization

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cannot necessarily increase the public’s knowledge about these

traditions

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themselves. In my opinion, even though some negative results might be led by people’s main purpose of utilizing cultural

traditions

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to earn money, considering the fact that those invaluable

heritages

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are getting extinct and those needs to be preserved, it is not an offence to get some earnings from the

tourists

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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who are enthusiastic to learn about the cultural aspects. But

commercialization

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should not be seen as

only

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the only

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access to the reservation of the

heritages

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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

since some cultural conventions can be encouraged by education and public promotion.

sjf199447Sat Jun 05 2021

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Some people think that cultural traditions will be destroyed when they are used as money-making machines aimed at tourists, other people believes that it is the only way to save such traditions in the world today. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

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