The higher proportion of older population will over take younger generation what is the reason? is it positive or negative development?

It is not too distant

past

Correct article usage

a past

show examples

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life expectancy was too low all over the world.

Due to

Linking Words

the advancement of science and technology, the longevity of humans has been nearly doubled or even tripled in some parts of the world. Despite believing it is a progressive movement, it seems that there are some negative repercussions that could be visible, especially

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

in economically deprived countries.

This

Linking Words

essay will support my view in the following paragraphs. There are a number of compelling pieces of evidence to support the reasons for the improved lifespan. First and foremost, unprecedented advancements in the field of medical science contribute to

having

Verb problem

apply

show examples

better health.

In other words

Linking Words

, sophisticated equipment to diagnose most of the deadly diseases at the early stage

Linking Words

along

Punctuation problem

, along

show examples

with time management by using highly

potential

Correct word choice

potent

show examples

medicines,

such

Linking Words

as vaccines, immunisations, and

antibiotic

Fix the agreement mistake

antibiotics

show examples

incorporate

Wrong verb form

incorporated

show examples

with skilled

doctors

Punctuation problem

doctors,

show examples

prevents mankind’s

immature

Correct word choice

premature

show examples

death. Eventually, the majority of the human population

tend

Correct subject-verb agreement

tends

show examples

to live longer.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

development

somewhat

Verb problem

has been somewhat

show examples

tensely observed by many scientists since both developing and underdeveloped countries

seems

Correct subject-verb agreement

seem

show examples

to be

encountered

Wrong verb form

encountering

show examples

an array of consequences. The fundamental problem could be insufficient resources to meet even the basic requirements of the citizens since a huge fund would be allocated for the welfare of the old generation;

therefore

Linking Words

, these places may witness an acute shortage of money and materials for the development of public

infra-structures

Use the right word

infrastructures

show examples

Linking Words

However

Punctuation problem

. However

show examples

this

Linking Words

can rarely occur as these states are well-prepared to alleviate the possible shortcomings.

For instance

Linking Words

, poor countries are funded by affluent nations to eliminate the problems related to the

old age

Use the right word

old-age

show examples

population explosion. In conclusion, after looking at reasons and possible outcomes of improved longevity, even though it has some demerits when it comes to the bigger picture,

basically

Punctuation problem

basically,

show examples

humans

are benefited

Wrong verb form

benefit

show examples

. It is predicted that in the future one

could

Verb problem

will

show examples

be able to live up to 150 years.

Sal

Jun 5, 2021

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task response

Plan your essay at the start. State your view clearly in the intro.

coherence

Use simple words and short sentences. Link ideas with clear steps like first, next, and finally.

language

Fix grammar mistakes and check small errors in plural, verb form, and preps. Keep to simple forms and punctuation.

content

Give more strong, specific examples that match the point you talk about.

structure

The essay starts with an attempt to discuss the issue and tries to cover both sides.

content

Some good ideas on medicine, health, and aging.

purpose

There is a clear ending to the essay.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

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