IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Today, most people get married and give birth in their thirties rather than when they were younger. Is it a positive or negative development in your own opinion? To what extent do you support this development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The life patterns of modern mankind have changed compared to a few decades back,
for instance
Linking Words
, lifetime priorities
such
Linking Words
 as marriage and raising kids have
pushed
Add a missing verb
been pushed
show examples
 to
thirties
Use synonyms
 in most cases. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 is a positive development which has several advantages considering the current lifestyle of people.
This
Linking Words
 essay focuses on evaluating the pros and cons of the said development.
To begin
Linking Words
 with the positive side, people are more mature to take big responsibilities when they
reached
Wrong verb form
reach
show examples
 to
thirties
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a study conducted by the University of West London indicates in relation to the divorce rates indicated that 35% of couples who were married
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their 20 have divorced and
subsequently
Linking Words
 it shows that the divorce rates are only 10% of the people who were married
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
thirties
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, a couple would
financially
Add a missing verb
be financially
show examples
 capable
to handle
Change preposition
of handling
show examples
 the cost of a baby in their middle age most of the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
, raising a kid is an expensive task in any part of the world today.
Finally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 trend is enabling youngsters to enjoy their life
while
Linking Words
 focusing on their career progression, achieving financial stability is very crucial
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 young age to ensure smoother running
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 lifespan in today's competitive world.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, giving birth to a child in the
thirties
Use synonyms
 may have certain drawbacks
such
Linking Words
 as women's capability to handle the pressure of childbirth and kids may end up with more elderly parents when they grow up.
However
Linking Words
, the mentioned concerns
also
Linking Words
 could be mitigated by sticking to a healthy lifestyle. In conclusion, delaying important decisions
such
Linking Words
 as marriage and giving birth
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
middle age have several advantages which are capable of
outweighing
Wrong verb form
outweigh
show examples
 the disadvantages.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make sure to provide a more balanced discussion by addressing potential counterarguments or opposing views.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Try to improve coherence by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: