IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #graduates #employment #factors #situation
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Nowadays, in many countries, there are
lots
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 of
people
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, who are highly qualified but they do not have a job. I think that one of the biggest factors that
has
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have
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 caused
this
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situation
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 are all the machines that are now installed in many factories.
This
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 factor removed jobs to
lots
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 of young
people
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 that have just ended
the
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apply
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school, the university and got a
highly
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high
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 degree. The problem of
the
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apply
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technology is not so much a big issue because now, with its rise
of
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in
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 popularity and success in all workplaces it
is use
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is used
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 but in
this
Linking Words
field
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,field
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 a lot of computer scientists are required. As I said before, the biggest issue that caused
this
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situation
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 is the installation of machines, which are able to do all
or
Correct your spelling
of
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 the biggest part of the things that a person can do. In fact, if we take as an example the weaving machine or the sewing machine, they have taken away the possibility of many women but
also
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 men to work, while in the past the
situation
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 was very different because
people
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 weaved or sewed at their home and they did it
also
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 for other
people
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 from which they were paid, too. Another factor that has caused the unemployment is
also
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 the fact that
lots
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 of
people
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,
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apply
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 when they are at the university, they chose faculties like medicine or law but all around the
world
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,world
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 there are many doctors and lawyers. So, when they make
this
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 choice,
at
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in
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 the end they risk being unemployed precisely for the fact that there are
lots
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 of human beings, who are doing the same job. To sum up, I believe that the
situation
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 explained above is caused by the invention of
lots
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 of machines and the choice that
the
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apply
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people
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 do when they are at
the
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apply
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university.
Submitted by silyakar on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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