Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve our mind health, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest our mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

For many
people
,
chosing
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choosing
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something
show examples
some thing
Correct your spelling
something
show examples
to do for
relxaxing
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relaxing
or decreasing
strees
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stress
after working
hardly
Replace the word
hard
show examples
is very important. Currently, while some
people
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
belive
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believe
show examples
that using leisure
time
for activities which improve their
mind
,
such
as reading and doing word puzzles is essential, others think it will be better if they reset the
mind
during their break
time
.
This
essay will discuss both of
these perspective
Change the determiner
this perspective
these perspectives
show examples
and
then
argue in favour of the letter.
First
and foremost,
this
thought would improve the
mind
by reading or doing word so that it is definitely
benefical
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beneficial
, and developing
mind
can attain success much more easily. One reason to prove
this
clue would be
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
habit when they
matain
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maintain
brain
capacity even during relaxing
time
.
Therefore
, it becomes a routine for
brain
Add an article
the brain
show examples
.
Second
Correct article usage
The second
show examples
reason
probaly
Correct your spelling
probably
would be improving not only knowledge but
also
creativity.
For example
, when
people
work
, they actually just
work
the thing they have to do or someone let them do it, but using leisure
time
for activities that improve the
mind
will have
people
know more what they want to know and get more
imformations
Correct your spelling
information
from it to develop their passion.
Last
but not least,
brain
Correct article usage
the brain
show examples
need
Change the verb form
needs
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to
work
on
regular
Add an article
a regular
show examples
basis which utterly
enhance
Change the verb form
enhances
show examples
mental health and
avioid
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avoid
mental diseases.
On the other hand
,
people
who want to reset the
mind
during break
time
do not think so. The
first
advantage why they think that
woulde
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would
be releasing pressure.
For instance
, after studying harly, our
mind
and emotion contain a lot of
streeses
Correct your spelling
stresses
stress
and weariness, we have to relax and let our
brain
stop working for a moment. I remember one sentence
said
Correct pronoun usage
that said
show examples
that working
timeably
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timely
timetable
alwayls
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always
better than working laborious.
Secondly
, it will refresh their
mind
so that after having a break
time
we can do
work
more effectively. And the
last
,
this
trend would have them
matain
Correct your spelling
maintain
their
work
-life balance. In conclusion, it is true that using leisure
time
for both
activites
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activities
improving
mind
and
reseting
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resetting
it play
an important roles
Correct the article-noun agreement
an important role
important roles
show examples
after working
hardly
Replace the word
hard
show examples
.
However
, I strongly
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that
people
should reset the
mind
for
their
Change the word
the
show examples
benefit it brings
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by Eteacher on

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Your opinion

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure time
  • mentally stimulating activities
  • cognitive skills
  • concentration
  • boost memory
  • sense of accomplishment
  • reduce stress
  • mental relaxation
  • mental fatigue recovery
  • comprehensive mental health benefits
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