IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Children who grow up in families which are short of money are better prepared with the problems of adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #families #money #adult #life #parents
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Nowadays, a lot of young
people
Use synonyms
 from low-income
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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 should take care of their forthcoming financial
problems
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 rather than rich
families
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. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because
children
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 from poor
families
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 have to face a lot of difficulties sooner and will have to prepare for them. On the one hand, poor
families
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 are having challenges
to manage
Change the verb form
managing
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 their limited income and
take
Wrong verb form
taking
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 care of
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children's
Correct pronoun usage
their children's
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 future. ,
Also
Linking Words
 kids from poor
families
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 are watching every day how their parents are struggling with money and how they are handling it. So they have some idea about it and should be developing their skills by themself to manage the upcoming
problems
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.
For example
Linking Words
, ignoring
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
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 sweets in the street, doing laundry by them and only
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
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 essential things.
Furthermore
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, most young
people
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 are having some fear about their future and should be prepared for it. Getting higher education and
join
Wrong verb form
joining
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 good companies are the main concerns of young
people
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 who do not have enough money.
However
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, if those
people
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 can be prepared early in their age
then
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 a lot of
problems
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 can be solved.
For instance
Linking Words
, most
universities
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university
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 fees are very high and those who can not afford
people
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 are doing part-time
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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. In conclusion, I completely agree that
children
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 who live with less are more ready for
problems
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 than rich ones.
This
Linking Words
 is because they see life from a different perspective and they are taught how to handle
problems
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 sooner. Given
this
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 situation, it seems that it is appropriate to teach
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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children
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 about how life really is.
Submitted by methsiri.bandara on

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task response
Ensure that all parts of the question are answered comprehensively and clearly. Provide a specific stance and support it with relevant examples and ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but make sure they clearly state the position on the topic. Work on organizing the ideas in a more logical and coherent manner.
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