IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

People aim to achieve balance between work and other activities of their lives, but few are able to do this. Suggest problems in balancing and some solutions for overcoming such problems.

#people #aim #balance #work #activities #lives
Nowadays, the lifestyle of people has become so haphazard that there is no distinction between their personal and professional life. Maintaining
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
stability is not an easy task
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
, it is not possible as well.
This
 essay discusses the issues and remedies to get over them.
To begin
 with, in the
last
 few years, the companies have turn out to be very demanding. The employees have to
work
 for long
hours
,
therefore
, they do not get
time
 for themselves.
For instance
, when coronavirus prevailed most of the organizations shifted to
work
 from home. Since that
time
, the working
hours
 have turned upside down. The workers are expected to be available during twenty-four
hours
 of the day.
Consequently
, they cannot spend
time
 with their family
besides
 being at home.
Moreover
, the competition is tremendous
hence
 the staff works more and more so that they do not lose their job. The workforce should come forward and demand a fixed working hour’s policy from their employers.
In addition
 to that, the corporates on their own should take unique initiatives of providing rewards to their personnel who accomplish their tasks on
time
.
Moreover
, the government can
also
 regularize the office
hours
 of their labourers. To conclude, it is a
two way
Add a hyphen
two-way
show examples
 process to maintain an equilibrium in the
work
 and personal life. The entrepreneur and the hired should
work
 together for the benefit of each other.
As a result
, the wage earner would be content and happy which eventually would help him in being more productive.
Submitted by harsimrankaur2400 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: