IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some believe that the best way to stay fit is to join a gym or health club while others think doing everyday activities. Such as walking and climbing stairs is enough. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #gym #health #club #activities #stairs
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Few
people
Use synonyms
 trust that the
effecient
Correct your spelling
efficient
 way to stay healthy is to get into a
gym
Use synonyms
 or
club
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.
However
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,others believe in performing
day
Use synonyms
 to
day
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 routines like walking and avoiding lifts is sufficient.
This
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 essay discusses both views and in my
opinion
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,opinion
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 I believe that doing household activities is enough to burn calories.
To begin
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 with, in
this
Linking Words
 contemporary world,most of the
people
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's work does not hold any physical activity due to the technology advancements.so
people
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 opted for
gym
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's as an alternative,because it makes them to workout in fixed timings.The
people
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 who
does
Change the verb form
do
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 not like
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gym
Add an article
the gym
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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takes
Change the verb form
take
show examples
 membership in
Use synonyms
health
Add an article
the health
a health
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club
Use synonyms
,where they provide calorie less food to
club
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 members and
also
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 makes them participate in physical exercises in the form of yoga or any regular stretches.
On the other hand
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,there are others who
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not belong to
this
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 category.
This
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 kind of
people
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 does not show any
intersest
Correct your spelling
interest
 in
Use synonyms
gym
Correct article usage
the gym
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 or
health
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 clubs because they believe there is no need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Correct your spelling
separate
seperate
Correct article usage
a seperate
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 slot for doing physical activities.
Linking Words
Instead
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,Instead
show examples
 these
people
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 believe in
Replace the word
losing
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loosing
Correct your spelling
losing
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 calories by performing everyday routines.
For instance
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,If the office is
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
premises
Correct article usage
the premises
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,they walk and catch public transport
instead
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 of going in their own private vehicles.These
people
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 do any household works like cooking,cleaning the house on
theor
Correct your spelling
their
 own
Correct your spelling
in order
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inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
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 to burn calories and be
helathy
Correct your spelling
healthy
.They avoid lifts and climb stairs especially during office hours so that they avoid
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
 of being sitting for long hours,and
also
Linking Words
 these
people
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 think that joining in
gym
Use synonyms
 and
health
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 clubs involve money and some
people
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cant
Correct your spelling
can't
show examples
 afford it. To conclude,
There
Correct your spelling
there
show examples
 are several ways for being
helathy
Correct your spelling
healthy
,
Firstly
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, by joining in
gym
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 or
health
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club
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 ,
secondly
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 by performing
day
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 to
day
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 tasks.
However
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in
Add the comma(s)
,in
show examples
 my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 believe doing daily activities in our life is not only the best way but
also
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 beneficial.
Submitted by jrakeshiit on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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