We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in businesses, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used for in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we he more auspicious of their benefits?

#computers #businesses #hospitals #crime #detection #planes #future #dependence

Technology has taken over the world in

this

new era, most of the daily

activities

people perform nowadays are systematized and controlled by a computer. The advantages that

computers

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

brought to individuals and companies are numerous.

However

, to what extend

computers

will control our lives in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

near future ? What consequences we should expect if the disadvantages of its

excesive

Correct your spelling

excessive

use

outweight

Correct your spelling

outweigh

the benefits?

First

all

Add a comma

,all

show examples

it is

neccesary

Correct your spelling

necessary

to highlight the huge steps humankind has been able to achieve thanks to the development of new

computarized

Correct your spelling

computerized

technologies from the exploration of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

space to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

simple day to day

activities

like purchasing, paying, cooking, etc.

Computers

play a significant role in our lives.

For example

facial and voice

recognizion

Correct your spelling

recognition

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

allows

Correct pronoun usage

us to

show examples

acces

Correct your spelling

access

to our bank accounts, to our homes or jobs to name a few.

Certainly

Add a comma

,Certainly

show examples

computers

will change the way people travel today, in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

near future

Add a hyphen

near-future

show examples

individuals might not require to have a paper passport in order to move around the world, all the information will be

controled

Correct your spelling

controlled

and secured by

computers

without a doubt. On the other side, despite

computers

are here to ease the way we live and make our processes more efficient, it is necessary to be aware of what

activities

computers

can not replace namely intrinsic aspects of human pshyquis that are developed by interacting with others

such

Correct your spelling

show examples

the case of babies, toddlers and kids

whom

Change the pronoun

who

show examples

develope

Correct your spelling

develop

developed

their sense of belonging

throught

Correct your spelling

through

throughout

the contact with their parents or guardians.

Computers

might ease our lives but society should pay attention to not delegate

such

important

activities

to a machine. To conclude, technologies and

computers

allows

Change the verb form

allow

show examples

that society and humankind

Fix the infinitive

show examples

advance with giant steps.

However

, people should be aware of the

activities

that might not

be replace

Change the verb form

be replaced

show examples

by a computer

such

the

Change preposition

as the

show examples

human touch, that way we will

be only benefit

Change the verb form

only benefit

show examples

and not

predjudice

Correct your spelling

prejudice

at the same time.

Submitted by shirley_7mp on Wed Jun 09 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

318 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
These days the majority of employers require good social skills. While these social skills could improve employee management and bring effective networking, these could social skills could not determine exact qualification and abilities. What extent do you agree or disagree?
Recently, more and more people have been paying attention to social skills.There are people who say that social skills are the most important additional qualification for success. I firmly believe that these skills are really necessary to stay in a good position in the workplace. In this essay, I will present my point of view.
6.5
band
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough.
5
band
The plans below show a traditional and modern two-storey Japanese house. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
The diagrams compare the interior design of a traditional and modern Japanese house.
5.5
band
Please outline your plans and strategies for actively participating in local and international communities throughout the IISMA program, and provide some concrete examples.
In general, my strategy to engage with the local and international communities is conducting deep research about the available communities in the universities and keep in mind that as an Indonesian student who is studying abroad, it is mandatory for me to portray a good impression about Indonesian students. Thus, I want to join an entrepreneurship community and meet people that have the same enthusiasm in business especially in social-health platforms. Besides enhancing my viewpoint of business, I can introduce the current development of Indonesia’s health technology platform. Furthermore, I will proudly bring my own business product which is a science-themed toy and explain it as an example of Indonesian student’s innovation. Henceforth, I aim to join the Startup Community Platform, part of the University of Edinburgh Innovations for Students. Both Monash University and University of Auckland also have centralized university hubs for students that are interested in entrepreneurship...
5.5
band
Write a 300 to 500-word ‘end of project’ letter to your client; Briefly summarize the project, including your team’s role in planning, organizing and staging the event; Include your impression of the success of the event (how will you discuss the fire alarm?); Keep the door open for future business; Advise that the contract is now complete; Thank the client for their business; Anything else that you think should be included in the letter content? Have you organized the letter for optimal communication?
Subject: Regarding successful completion of the event contract.

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in businesses, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used for in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we he more auspicious of their benefits?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

These days the majority of employers require good social skills. While these social skills could improve employee management and bring effective networking, these could social skills could not determine exact qualification and abilities. What extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

The plans below show a traditional and modern two-storey Japanese house. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

Please outline your plans and strategies for actively participating in local and international communities throughout the IISMA program, and provide some concrete examples.