Some people believe that smartphones are destroying social interaction today. To what extent you agree or disagree ?

#people #smartphones #interaction

Nowadays, advanced technology becomes more threatening to human life from digital

devices

, like mobile. I agree with the statement because all the social aspects are intense.

To begin

with, how far the mobile

devices

are impacting human's day to day life and what are the results are having today in society. Using these

devices

people

get easier to contact with their loved

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

and that

affect

Replace the word

effect

show examples

goes through

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

every stage of society, like family, friends, community, by digital communication and other aspects.

For example

, presently, everybody is using SMS, Video calls, and social media to contact other

people

without meeting

Change preposition

apply

show examples

face to face.

Therefore

, society has left their human touch by the

addict

Replace the word

addiction

show examples

to smartphones and other

devices

Moreover

People

are isolating by

these advanced technology

Change the determiner

this advanced technology

these advanced technologies

show examples

in these days because they are believing these

devices

keep their safe and comforting. Many youngsters are getting addicted to these

devices

more and more and they are ignoring the socialized lifestyle.

Furthermore

, most families, friends are losing interconnection with each other due to these smart appliances and they are becoming

sedentary

Add an article

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle.

for instance

, lots of

people

forget to go out or meet friends

with

Change preposition

show examples

doing physical activities like playing sport or gym. In conclusion, smartphones are extremely influencing our social interactions negatively and it is making

people

forget their values of social interaction. So I agreed with the statement which is reducing our social interaction with mobile phones.

Submitted by methsiri.bandara on Wed Jun 09 2021

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

238 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

limit
face-to-face communication
social media
loss of real connections
distract
engaging
empathy
personal connection
addictive
isolation
enhance

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Some people believe that smartphones are destroying social interaction today. To what extent you agree or disagree ?

Your opinion

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