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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that schools are no longer necessary because students can study well at home through the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#some #people #schools #students #study #home #internet
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Technology has made it convenient for
students
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 the young to gain knowledge at home;
therefore
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, studying at
school
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 is regarded as unnecessary by some people. I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view and here are reasons for it.
First
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 of all, studying at
school
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 contributes to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educational equity. There is no doubt that learning online makes
students
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 available to plenty of academic resources, educational tutoring provided by high-qualified teachers and other learning networking websites.
However
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, for those children living in poor areas, studying totally based on
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 causes a large financial burden and there are not enough facilities to support
this
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 way of
Correct your spelling
learning
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leaning
Correct your spelling
learning
show examples
, which means that face-to-face education at
school
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 still is the easiest and most cost-effective way for them to acquire knowledge.
Additionally
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, compared with distance education,
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school
Add an article
the school
show examples
 provides
students
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 with much more than academic help. Well-experienced teachers at
school
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 are more likely to train
students
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 to be well-bonded persons and teach them plenty of social graces,
such
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 as how to respect their peers, strengthen the bond with others and do well in teamwork. What is more, studying at the
school
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 does great help in keeping
students
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 concentrating on their work. It’s widely believed that, without supervision, the younger generation tends to abandon themselves and be
addictive
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addicted
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 to electronic games when surfing the internet, which will lead to unsatisfactory grades and mental problems, or even juvenile delinquency. Teaching staff at
school
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 play an increasingly critical role in preventing them from game addiction.
For example
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, taking the phone to
the
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apply
show examples
school
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 is usually forbidden. In conclusion, studying at
school
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 is considered
as
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apply
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a better choice compared with studying online, especially for
students
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 who are relatively not very rich and self-controlled. (276 Words)
Submitted by gyinghunan on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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