IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

#people #debt #don’t #can’t #behaviour
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people tend to purchase expensive products even though they do not need them,
as a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 they find themselves in heavy debt
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the end. There are some reasons and solutions for
this
Linking Words
 issue which I have explained in
this
Linking Words
 essay. One of the main reason for unnecessary expenses is a lack of planning. Due to the unending needs of humanity, it is difficult to curtail what is actually needed without a plan which prioritizes the items needed. One way to tackle
this
Linking Words
 is making lists of their needs to ensure they do not deviate from buying what is not listed,
this
Linking Words
 makes them spend more wisely as well as track their budget. Another obvious reason for
this
Linking Words
 is TV advertisements. It is crystal clear that TV advertisements have an unremarkable impact on an individual’s life. Grabbing people’s attention with glamorous commercials lead them to buy unnecessary products. To tackle
this
Linking Words
, I believe the government should provide educational programmes and commercials in order to encourage people to feel satisfied with what they can afford to buy without splurging on unnecessary things.
Also
Linking Words
, credit cards provide consumers
the
Add the preposition
with the
show examples
 opportunity to spend more than they can afford as they encourage individuals to embrace (( spend today, pay tomorrow )) philosophy.
This
Linking Words
 can be prevented to some extent by keeping a record
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 income and monthly spendings which give the consumer an overall image of their budget. To sum up, though glamorous advertisements, lack of planning and credit cards encourage people to attempt buying useless or unnecessary things, all of
this
Linking Words
 can be kept in check through proper financial planning.
Submitted by azin.ra97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: