IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Behavior in schools is getting worse. explain the causes of this problem and suggest some possible solutions.

#behavior #schools
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 era, schools are much different
as
Change preposition
than
show examples
 they have 50 years back. Children’s
behaviour
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
also
Linking Words
 changed and getting worst day by day. Indeed, there should be some protocol that school and children should follow to
maintan
Correct your spelling
maintain
 the decorum of the school.In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will shed light on
root
Correct article usage
the root
show examples
cuse
Correct your spelling
cause
use
 of
this
Linking Words
kind
Use synonyms
 of
behaviour
Use synonyms
 and suggest some measure how to deal with
this
Linking Words
kind
Use synonyms
 of situations. Certainly, there are
sevral
Correct your spelling
several
 causes of bad
behaviour
Use synonyms
 and
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
 epidemic of disrespect
amung
Correct your spelling
among
 students.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Parents
Use synonyms
 are
more busy
Replace the words
busier
show examples
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 before, as breadwinner have to go
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 work and mothers are busy
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 household things so in
this
Linking Words
 situation kids are feeling alone indulge themself
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 bad companies.
Secondly
Linking Words
, increase
access
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 of social media as children are free to browse any
kind
Use synonyms
 of content on social media
chennels
Correct your spelling
channels
 they easily get exposure to the content
that is
Linking Words
 not age
approproate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
in addition
Linking Words
 to that, it
also
Linking Words
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
 FOMO and feeling of inadequacy,
dissatisfection
Correct your spelling
dissatisfaction
 and isolation. In turn,
these feeling
Change the determiner
this feeling negativly
show examples
negativly
Correct your spelling
negatively
 affect children’s
behaviour
Use synonyms
. Clearly,
parents
Use synonyms
 need to take some action to control
these
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
kind
Use synonyms
 of activities.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost,
parents
Use synonyms
 need to schedule their
Use synonyms
time table
Correct your spelling
timetable
show examples
 according to their children’s
Use synonyms
time table
Correct your spelling
timetable
show examples
 and spend
time
Use synonyms
 with them.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, discuss their problems and try to rectify that.
Secondly
Linking Words
, create some protocols for social media
access
Use synonyms
 when to
access
Use synonyms
,where to
access
Use synonyms
 and what they are
watchng
Correct your spelling
watching
.
However
Linking Words
, kids not like protocols, it will helpful for them in
fueture
Correct your spelling
future
. In conclusion, no matter how much schools get modernise,
chilldren
Correct your spelling
children
shoulld
Correct your spelling
should
 follow basic
athecates
Correct your spelling
athletes
 and
parents
Use synonyms
 needs no be more focus
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
kids
Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
show examples
behaviour
Use synonyms
 as its will impact their future.
Submitted by manasvimahant on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Discipline
  • Respect for authority
  • Confrontational
  • Cyberbullying
  • Overcrowded
  • Curriculum
  • Engagement
  • Mental health
  • Parental involvement
  • Social-emotional learning (SEL)
  • Classroom management
  • Trusting environment
  • Anxiety
  • Stress
  • Behavioral intervention
  • Facilities
  • Resource allocation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: