There was a time when people only shopped out of necessity, but these days shopping seems to have become a new form of leisure activity. People don't appreciate the value of money anymore. To what extent do you agree with this view?

#time #people #necessity #form #leisure #activity #value #money

There has been a tendency in Western countries over recent years for more

people

to do shopping apart from necessities and related to

this

, shopping is considered an

ocassion

Correct your spelling

occasion

filling spare times. It may be seen that our society belittles the value of money compared to the past. I totally agree with

this

viewpoint since

people

perceive going to shopping

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

every weekend with their relatives as a group activity

besides

, customers tend to buy non-essential aliments even though they cost them an arm and a leg. To start out, it’s certain that the shopping spree encompassing all around the world pertains deeply to growing trade capacity and capitalism.

In addition

commercial

Correct article usage

the commercial

show examples

strategies of big brands definitely spur the impulse of buying anything whether it be unnecessary. All that leads the population to conceive

doing

Change preposition

of doing

show examples

shopping as a leisure activity. Mounting evidence suggests that 45% of families in Ankara generally

spends

Change the verb form

spend

show examples

their spare time at weekends promenading in shopping malls.

Although

people

are obtaining new properties non-

stoply

Correct your spelling

stop

stops

, they should urgently give up

this

habit due to mostly paying the costs of these products with

credit

Add an article

a credit

show examples

card and owning a superb amount of debts to several banks. To illustrate, many families are suffering from acquiring basic necessities and are at the edge of

bankrupt

Replace the word

bankruptcy

show examples

owing to given debts.

However

, provided that individuals incline to

second

-hand bazaars and shops, it could be both an eco-friendly and budget-friendly solution to

this

problem. To conclude, it’s undeniably true that societies constantly are exposed to various commercials as well as

debting

Correct your spelling

debiting

debating

options from banks feeding their urge of buying. In my opinion, the shopping concept has altered so much nowadays and

people

have become dissatisfied individuals.

Submitted by haticecoza on Sun Jun 13 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There was a time when people only shopped out of necessity, but these days shopping seems to have become a new form of leisure activity. People don't appreciate the value of money anymore. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Fully explain your ideas

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspaper or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying.

Some peoole think that cities are the best place to live. Others prefer to live in countryside. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

People who live in large cities face a range of problem in their daily life. What are the most significant of these problem? How can these problem be tackled?

It is inevitable that as technology advances, traditional cultures will be lost. It seems that we cannot have these two things together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?