IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people
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It has been a controversial issue whether
people
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 should pay for
entrance
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the entrance
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of
Change preposition
to
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museums
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 or not. From my
perspective
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,perspective
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 there will be more benefits than drawbacks if
museums
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 are not free for their audiences. There may be some benefits if
museums
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 become free for all visitors. When it comes to
encouraging
Correct article usage
the encouraging
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 factor, from time to time individuals who are under financial problems regret visiting
museums
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 due to the price of public places’ tickets. It seems that when
people
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 are allowed to visit
museums
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 without paying
money
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, they would be more enthusiastic to establish a time during their journey for visiting
the
Correct article usage
apply
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public places
such
Linking Words
 as
museums
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. It may be more ethical if both wealthy and poor
people
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 have the same opportunity to visit
museums
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.
However
Linking Words
, from my view, it would be more beneficial to charge
museums
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 for admission.
Although
Linking Words
 from morality issues,
museums
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 should be free for all
people
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, when it comes to financial perspective, preserving traditional art crafts
such
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 as valuable paintings, and
jewelries
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jewelry
pieces of jewelry
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is
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are
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 expensive.
Museums
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 need
money
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 to protect these historical materials against thefts. Earning
money
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 from selling entrance tickets may enable
museums
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 to pay their current costs and tackle their financial problems.
Moreover
Linking Words
, developing countries
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 have
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a
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low level of industrialization generally invest a lot of
money
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 into attracting tourists. They hope to improve their economy by the
money
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 that they earn from tourists’ attraction places
such
Linking Words
 as
museums
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. By establishing free
museums
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, these nations are less likely to benefit from tourists. All in all, in my view countries’
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museums
Add the comma(s)
,museums
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 should not be free, regarding the points mentioned above, charging
people
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 with entrance fee may be more beneficial for the museum and the economy of the host country.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
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