In some parts of the world, people have become more focused on themselves than their communities. What problems can this situation cause and how can they be solved?

In contemporary
society
, more and more
people
prefer to more think of themselves than their surroundings. I will try to explain the reasons and consequences of these phenomena in
this
essay. I think that the reasons for
this
process come from the basis of modern capitalist
society
. In fact, we are living in a
society
in which personal wealth is raised to the rank of supreme virtue. Personal richness is wide exalted and personal poverty is criticized by the present media.
However
, the individual can lose a lot of other qualities in the chasing of personal well-being.
On the other hand
, in the past, in the time of communist
society
in our country, the
people
paid more attention to their surrounding than themselves. All the
people
were involved in multiple social organizations
such
as pioneers, Komsomol, different hobbies societies, sports sections and a lot of others. Personal wealth was condemned but personal development and the benefit for
society
were exalted in the
first
place.
Nevertheless
, as we know, the personal initiative was suppressed by the authorities in
such
a
society
.
This
fact and a lot of other disadvantages led to the collapse of the Soviet Union in the end. In my opinion, in term of the solution to
this
problem, the government should promote the ideas of common well-being rather than personal wealth through the media and development of youth social organization. In conclusion,
although
personal richness is important,
society
development is impossible without positive cooperation among
people
.
Submitted by pauleasy666 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social isolation
  • Mental health issues
  • Community participation
  • Social cohesion
  • Civic pride
  • Volunteerism
  • Charitable contributions
  • Collective responsibility
  • Cultural heritage
  • Educational campaigns
  • Collective action
  • Tax deductions
  • Recognition programs
  • Mentorship
  • Community leadership
  • Intergenerational interactions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: