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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some parts of the world, people have become more focused on themselves than their communities. What problems can this situation cause and how can they be solved?

#parts #world #people #communities #situation
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In contemporary
society
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, more and more
people
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 prefer to more think of themselves than their surroundings. I will try to explain the reasons and consequences of these phenomena in
this
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 essay. I think that the reasons for
this
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 process come from the basis of modern capitalist
society
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. In fact, we are living in a
society
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 in which personal wealth is raised to the rank of supreme virtue. Personal richness is wide exalted and personal poverty is criticized by the present media.
However
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, the individual can lose a lot of other qualities in the chasing of personal well-being.
On the other hand
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, in the past, in the time of communist
society
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 in our country, the
people
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 paid more attention to their surrounding than themselves. All the
people
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 were involved in multiple social organizations
such
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 as pioneers, Komsomol, different hobbies societies, sports sections and a lot of others. Personal wealth was condemned but personal development and the benefit for
society
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 were exalted in the
first
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 place.
Nevertheless
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, as we know, the personal initiative was suppressed by the authorities in
such
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 a
society
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.
This
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 fact and a lot of other disadvantages led to the collapse of the Soviet Union in the end. In my opinion, in term of the solution to
this
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 problem, the government should promote the ideas of common well-being rather than personal wealth through the media and development of youth social organization. In conclusion,
although
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 personal richness is important,
society
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 development is impossible without positive cooperation among
people
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.
Submitted by pauleasy666 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social isolation
  • Mental health issues
  • Community participation
  • Social cohesion
  • Civic pride
  • Volunteerism
  • Charitable contributions
  • Collective responsibility
  • Cultural heritage
  • Educational campaigns
  • Collective action
  • Tax deductions
  • Recognition programs
  • Mentorship
  • Community leadership
  • Intergenerational interactions
What to do next:
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