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Band 4.5

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#britain #someone #home #people #nurses #government #care
Nowadays, in
Britain
Add a comma
,Britain
show examples
 some elder people decide to move to a
nursery
Replace the word
nursing
show examples
 home where medical
care
 is provided and
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
occasions
Add a comma
,occasions
show examples
 the
government
 provides the funds for
this
care
.
Although
 some people need
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economical support to pay for
this
 service, I do not believe it should be always provided.
This
 essay will shed light on when it is believed to be appropriate to
received
Change the verb
receive
show examples
 economical support for
this
 service and when is not.
Firstly
, I do believe that having
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 support from the
government
 is a great benefit for the elder population. Recent statistics have shown that the greatest amount of accidents at home are due to the lack of
care
 from family members in combination with a low income, which leaves
families
 without the opportunity of having their
love
Replace the word
loved
show examples
 ones in a nursery home. Based
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 that information had the
government
 provided the fund for retirement homes, there would be less predictable accidents among the elders.
On the other hand
, It is said that having their
families
 paid for
this
 type of service is the right thing to do. A recent survey indicated that many
families
 who are wealthy are being paid for their
nursering
Correct your spelling
nursing
nursery
 services. I do not believe
this
 situation to be fair as they do not need extra funds. To sum up, In my opinion
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should evaluate
families
 economical circumstances and according to that provide the money required for
this
care
 only when proven to be needed,
oas
Correct your spelling
as
 a result not only should the
government
 be responsible to pay for elder
care
 but
also
 the
families
 when able to
affort
Correct your spelling
afford
 it.
Submitted by diamadia1 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Aging population
  • Elderly care
  • Nursing homes
  • Social welfare
  • Intergenerational responsibility
  • Caregiving
  • Financial burden
  • Quality of life
  • Pension funds
  • Healthcare policy
  • Taxation
  • Subsidies
  • Private insurance
  • Long-term care
  • Sustainability
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