IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Research has shown that spending much less time in office can reduce the use of energy, Thus some companies close for same days a week. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages.

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Scientists have found that
electricity
Use synonyms
 consumption can be reduced by spending less time in the
office
Use synonyms
. Most companies work Monday to Friday to reduce the use of energy. In my opinion, it has more benefits than drawbacks.
This
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 essay will
discuss
Wrong verb form
be discussed
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 in forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, when the
office
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 will open
few
Correct article usage
a few
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days
Use synonyms
 a
week
Use synonyms
 it will
beneficial
Add a missing verb
be beneficial
show examples
 for the employees and employers.
Firstly
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, an employee will get much time to spend with his family. With
this
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, he will feel fresh and do tasks in the company more enthusiastically. It will help him mentally
as well as
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 physically.
For instance
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, a survey conducted by Russia
in
Change preposition
apply
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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found that those
Use synonyms
office
Fix the agreement mistake
offices
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that
Linking Words
is
Verb problem
apply
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close
Replace the word
closed
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 on weekends their employees are happier than those who work seven
days
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 a
week
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.
Hence
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, it is beneficial for a worker.
Moreover
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, the company will
also
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 get advantages
such
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 as less
electricity
Use synonyms
will consume
Wrong verb form
consumed
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. In
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 company, there are more than 100 computers, air-conditioned,
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
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, fans, lights and on. When the
office
Use synonyms
 remains
close
Replace the word
closed
show examples
 at weekends it will definitely reduce the use of energy.
For instance
Linking Words
, In
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 a survey was conducted, which found that
industries
Change preposition
in industries
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 which work fewer
days
Use synonyms
 in a
week
Use synonyms
electricity
Use synonyms
 consumption
reduced
Add a missing verb
was reduced
show examples
 by 60% as compared to open the whole
week
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. There is a minor drawback
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
production will be less but it
also
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 saves the charges of
electricity
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.
To conclude
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, from the above
points
Add a comma
points,
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 I agree that it has more pros of working fewer
days
Use synonyms
 in a
week
Use synonyms
. It saves energy and fresh
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 of employees.

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Some points are not logically presented, and the argument lacks coherence.
task achievement
There is a partial response to the task. The essay discusses the advantages but does not adequately address the disadvantages. The arguments are not fully developed, and there is a lack of clear comprehensive ideas.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • energy consumption
  • utility costs
  • work-life balance
  • productivity
  • job satisfaction
  • corporate social responsibility
  • brand reputation
  • carbon footprint
  • continuous service delivery
  • logistical challenges
  • remote work
  • advanced technology
  • communication tools
  • financial health
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