Research has shown that spending much less time in office can reduce the use of energy, Thus some companies close for same days a week. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages.
Scientists have found that
electricity
consumption can be reduced by spending less time in the office
. Most companies work Monday to Friday to reduce the use of energy. In my opinion, it has more benefits than drawbacks. This
essay will discuss
in forthcoming paragraphs.
Wrong verb form
be discussed
To begin
with, when the office
will open few
Correct article usage
a few
days
a week
it will beneficial
for the employees and employers. Add a missing verb
be beneficial
Firstly
, an employee will get much time to spend with his family. With this
, he will feel fresh and do tasks in the company more enthusiastically. It will help him mentally as well as
physically. For instance
, a survey conducted by Russia in
Change preposition
apply
which
found that those Correct pronoun usage
apply
office
Fix the agreement mistake
offices
that
is
Verb problem
apply
close
on weekends their employees are happier than those who work seven Replace the word
closed
days
a week
. Hence
, it is beneficial for a worker.
Moreover
, the company will also
get advantages such
as less electricity
will consume
. In Wrong verb form
consumed
a
company, there are more than 100 computers, air-conditioned, Correct article usage
the
refrigerator
, fans, lights and on. When the Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
office
remains close
at weekends it will definitely reduce the use of energy. Replace the word
closed
For instance
, In UK
a survey was conducted, which found that Correct article usage
the UK
industries
which work fewer Change preposition
in industries
days
in a week
electricity
consumption reduced
by 60% as compared to open the whole Add a missing verb
was reduced
week
. There is a minor drawback is
production will be less but it Unnecessary verb
apply
also
saves the charges of electricity
.
To conclude
, from the above points
I agree that it has more pros of working fewer Add a comma
points,
days
in a week
. It saves energy and fresh mind
of employees.Fix the agreement mistake
minds
Submitted by Rajwinder Kaur on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Some points are not logically presented, and the argument lacks coherence.
task achievement
There is a partial response to the task. The essay discusses the advantages but does not adequately address the disadvantages. The arguments are not fully developed, and there is a lack of clear comprehensive ideas.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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