IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

a new generation of entrepreneurs believe that privately funded space tourism will be the next exciting development in space exploration. How true do you think this is? How would space tourism affect space exploration as we know it today?

#generation #entrepreneurs #space #tourism #development #exploration
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It would be justifiable to state that irrespective of economical status,
a
Remove the article
apply
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sound
health
 is every
person
's basic right. Considering
this
, it is suggested that
handling
Correct article usage
the handling
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 of
health
 services should be taken out of the hands of
private
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a private
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 corporation. Agreed,
non government
Add a hyphen
non-government
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health
 care has got some merits to offer yet ample unfavourable aspects thrive in its lap. The upcoming paragraphs will analyse both praiseworthy aspects and shortcomings in a more specified way. Private medical services
has
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have
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 proven to be a blessing in few cases. The most plausible one is
availability
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the availability
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 of experienced doctors,
state-of-the- art
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state-of-the-art
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 medical facilities and
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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 equipment that are found very easily in private hospitals. Considering
this
, it is logical to assume that a
person
 has better scope of recovery when diagnosed and treated over here.
Further
, keeping in mind the fact that
doctors
Correct article usage
the doctors
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 and nurses ratio to patients is quite low in privately owned
health
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
, it would be safe to remark that mandatory attention and care is dispensed to each patient which,in turn, proves beneficial for the same.
Nevertheless
,
Correct article usage
the other
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other
Change the wording
another
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 side of the picture is rather grim. Indeed,when a
person
in
Correct your spelling
is
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 suffering is admitted to
private
Correct article usage
a private
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health
 centre rather than
Add a hyphen
government-owned
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government
Correct article usage
a government
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 owned one, chances of getting exorbitant bills of treatment are run high. Worth noting is the fact that
instead
 of providing medical care, private clinics are more in minting money by doing fake and unnecessary surgeries, prescribing expensive medicines or even by treating a dead
person
 over and over again. Everyday cases of private hospital deceit
recieved
Correct your spelling
received
 by
indian
Change the capitalization
Indian
show examples
 medical association in India speak volumes of how low these hospitals have steeped for the sake of money. Another factor that goes against
such
 services is that these unaffordable for most of the public and it usually indebted whenever they have to get
healing
Add an article
the healing
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 done from here. At
last
,it can be summed up that no doubt private
health
 hospitals have some merits to offer yet the demerits of it,which far outstrips the former,are surely not to be missed and
therefore
,
health
 case must not
handed
Change the verb form
be handed
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 to private companies in
larger
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the larger
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 public interest.
Submitted by brarraju60 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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