Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their time?
Many people argue that kids are given
lot
of extra Change the article
a lot
time
for playing. Rather, they should concentrate more on studies
. I will discuss here the importance of pleasure Correct pronoun usage
their studies
activities
in the development of child's
mind. Correct article usage
a child's
Also
, how too much of
Change preposition
apply
the
bookish knowledge can make a child sick.
Sports Correct article usage
apply
activities
or spending time
in leisure events plays a vital role in toddler's
Correct article usage
a toddler's
life
. Firstly
, it raises the
physical strength and energy. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, by
adopting more Change preposition
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
sport
Change the noun form
sports
activities
can help them to take it as a career in sports. Secondly
, it increases the thinking power of a child, who later on, are
responsible for the nation's progress. They can become role model for others. Change the verb form
is
Thirdly
, It has been seen that sporty kids are more joyful and have happy
Add an article
a happy
life
. They always maintain cordial
environment at home and suffer less Correct article usage
a cordial
for
Change preposition
from
disease
like obesity, diabetes and hypertension.
Too much Change the noun form
diseases
time
spent only on studies and less on play can lead to lustreless life
and psychiatric ailments. It also
affect
the eyes and overall physical health. Almost all are having some sort ofChange the verb form
affects
behavioral
abnormalities. No doubt, it will fetch good marks in Change the spelling
behavioural
academic
career, but it will deprive him of social and communication skills. Most of them have disturbed family's Correct pronoun usage
their academic
his academic
her academic
life
. That is
why,
most of the schools take Remove the comma
apply
keen
interest in kid's extra-curriculum Add an article
a keen
activities
.
In conclusion, I believe that spending time
in both class work
as well as in sports is the need of Correct your spelling
classwork
hour
for each inmate. There should always be a balance between the two.Add an article
the hour
Submitted by davinder_ju on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite