Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their time?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many people argue that kids are given
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of extra
time
Use synonyms
for playing. Rather, they should concentrate more on
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
. I will discuss here the importance of pleasure
activities
Use synonyms
in the development of
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
mind.
Also
Linking Words
, how too much
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bookish knowledge can make a child sick. Sports
activities
Use synonyms
or spending
time
Use synonyms
in leisure events plays a vital role in
toddler's
Correct article usage
a toddler's
show examples
life
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it raises
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical strength and energy.
For instance
Linking Words
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
adopting more
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
can help them to take it as a career in sports.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it increases the thinking power of a child, who later on,
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
responsible for the nation's progress. They can become role model for others.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, It has been seen that sporty kids are more joyful and have
happy
Add an article
a happy
show examples
life
Use synonyms
. They always maintain
cordial
Correct article usage
a cordial
show examples
environment at home and suffer less
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
disease
Change the noun form
diseases
show examples
like obesity, diabetes and hypertension. Too much
time
Use synonyms
spent only on studies and less on play can lead to lustreless
life
Use synonyms
and psychiatric ailments. It
also
Linking Words
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
the eyes and overall physical health. Almost all are having some sort of
behavioral
Change the spelling
behavioural
show examples
abnormalities. No doubt, it will fetch good marks in
academic
Correct pronoun usage
their academic
his academic
her academic
show examples
career, but it will deprive him of social and communication skills. Most of them have disturbed family's
life
Use synonyms
.
That is
Linking Words
why
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
most of the schools take
keen
Add an article
a keen
show examples
interest in kid's extra-curriculum
activities
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I believe that spending
time
Use synonyms
in both
class work
Correct your spelling
classwork
show examples
as well as in sports is the need of
hour
Add an article
the hour
show examples
for each inmate. There should always be a balance between the two.
Submitted by davinder_ju on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unstructured free time
  • creativity
  • mental health development
  • extracurricular activities
  • well-rounded development
  • sports
  • arts
  • social skills
  • family time
  • emotional growth
  • relationship building
  • rest and leisure
  • academic performance
  • burnout
What to do next:
Look at other essays: