IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that women should not be allowed to work in the police force. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #women #work #police #force
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In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era, Some individuals think, ladies shouldn't work in the police
department
Use synonyms
. I don't agree with
this
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 statement.
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
this
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 scenario, by considering the statement by using
example
Correct article usage
the example
show examples
 Time Magazine survey to demonstrate the points and support the claims. On one hand,
women
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 equal right in the society by considering
this
Linking Words
 point we can strongly oppose
this
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 statement.
Moreover
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, In
recent
Correct article usage
the recent
show examples
 past, we have seen so many cases in the world, where
women
Use synonyms
 in
law
Correct article usage
the law
show examples
 and order
department
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 solved so many criminal cases.
For example
Linking Words
, a survey from Time Magazine in 2018 suggests that one case changed
thinking
Correct article usage
the thinking
show examples
 of people
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the law and order
department
Use synonyms
 because of the
intelegence
Correct your spelling
intelligence
invovled
Correct your spelling
involved
 in finding the criminal.
In addition
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 to
this
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, the main person in
idenfying
Correct your spelling
identifying
 the criminal is a lady.
On the other hand
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, according to the law, if you have
girl
Correct article usage
a girl
show examples
 suspect to be arrested
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 should always be a
women
Use synonyms
 police to
interogate
Correct your spelling
interrogate
 that person.
Additionally
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, we have to increase the positions in the
department
Use synonyms
 rather than removing them. Predominantly, the government has to emphasize
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue and increase the positions. To conclude, in my view, girls should have their jobs in the police force.
Similarly
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, In other sectors as well and we have to give equal priorities to both men and
women
Use synonyms
.
Finally
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, the government should never remove them from
this
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 sector it will
imablance
Correct your spelling
imbalance
imbalanced
 the society.
Submitted by sathwik.enukonda on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • inherent equality
  • law enforcement
  • empathy
  • gender-based violence
  • community relations
  • diversity
  • team performance
  • systemic gender bias
  • physical requirements
  • culture of masculinity
What to do next:
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