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Band 4

Is it better for young to get advice from older people than young people ? Do you Agree or Disagree ?

#advice #people
Decision making
Add a hyphen
Decision-making
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 is the crucial part of life that decides
that
Correct word choice
apply
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what is good and bad for choosing in future.The majority of people thought that it is good to take
suggestion
Fix the agreement mistake
suggestions
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 from older rather than young individuals.I will put forward the partial agreement with the statement and
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 discuss the reasons behind
this
 in the following paragraphs. To commence with, the importance of older's
advise
Replace the word
advice
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 in life, as they have the most of the experience from their whole life the many ups and downs and faced the challenges that make them ready for good decision making.They are older enough with the passage of time
the
Correct article usage
apply
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maturity
also
increasing
Wrong verb form
increases
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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patience level,
tolerance
Correct word choice
and tolerance
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 towards the mistakes of
youngers
Correct your spelling
younger
show examples
.
Additionally
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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 most
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 that the children have seen now the parents
already seen
Add the auxiliary verb
have already seen
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 before, so that's why they
competent
Add a missing verb
are competent
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 enough to give
a
Correct article usage
the
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 best possible solution.
On the other hand
, even the old age have experience but nowadays technology advances so fast and they are
enabledunable
Correct your spelling
unable
 to stay connected with the fast-paced world. everything
such
 as study,work,
shopping
Correct word choice
and shopping
show examples
 all
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
show examples
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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computers. It is supposed that in
near
Correct article usage
the near
show examples
 future all would be controlled by robots and more sophisticated technology would take place.
IN
Correct your spelling
In
show examples
 that way the young generation would
take
Correct your spelling
make
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 appropriate
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
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 as they are able to learn the new gadget use easily
no
Change preposition
with no
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 need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 extra time to spend on training.
To conclude
, both age
groups
Change noun form
groups'
group's
show examples
 decision is appropriate and valuable
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own place. For growth and development and more in IT ,field the young advice is more considerable.
Submitted by sumanpreetg1313 on

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task response
The essay partially addresses the prompt. The introduction could be more focused on the writer's stance and the conclusion should summarize the arguments more clearly. Make sure to provide clear examples to support the points made.
coherence and cohesion
Overall, the essay contains a mix of well-connected ideas and some lack of clarity. Use appropriate transition words to improve coherence, and expand on each point to create a more logical flow of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • wisdom
  • experience
  • modern challenges
  • peer advice
  • long-term perspective
  • contextual relevance
  • diverse perspectives
  • generational gap
  • mentorship
  • cautionary tale
  • evolving societal norms
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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