IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

'We have an expression: food is not love'. Obesity these days is very common in our society. Some people believe our overeating habit and less physical exercise have left obese people to suffer from various illnesses. Discuss the solutions to remain fit.

#expression #food #love #obesity #society #people #habit #exercise #illnesses
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Over the
last
Linking Words
 few years, there has been a dramatic increase in the number of overweight
people
Use synonyms
. Obesity is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 major health problem and it leads to various health problems like diabetes,
heartattack
Correct your spelling
heart attack
heart-attack
, stroke, and a number of many. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I would like to enlighten my views on
subjected
Replace the word
subject
show examples
 line. Excessive consumption of junk foods is the
first
Linking Words
 and foremost cause
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 obesity. In the past,
people
Use synonyms
 did not have much variety of foods. They rely more on homemade food but today there are numerous options available like
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Pizza, Burger, Pasta and many more.
People
Use synonyms
 love the consumption of these meals knowingly the fact
that is
Linking Words
 compounded by a higher level of fats and sugar which makes them obese. Lack of exercises is another reason for weight gain. Most of us have jobs
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 allow us to spend most of the time sitting on chairs. There are several solutions to prevent obesity. What is vital to achieving
this
Linking Words
 target is self-discipline towards eating patterns and resolution to form a diet and fitness regime every day by consuming organic foods.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
,
physical
Add an article
a physical
show examples
 activity ought to be an important part of your routine. When we exercise, we not only burn the extra calories but
also
Linking Words
 reduce the risk of illness diseases. To conclude, it is true that
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 number of obese
people
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 rising day by day to
this
Linking Words
 problem can be tackled by making appropriate exercises and healthy balanced diet
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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