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Band 4.5

Nowadays, people own many consumer goods such as refrigerators and washing machines. Is this a good or bad thing?

#people #consumer #goods #refrigerators #machines
It has been pointed out that a vast number of consumer items are possessed by
people
 at the moment. Personally, I completely consider that
this
 is
a
Change the article
an
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 extremely thriving development in terms of enhancing effectiveness and efficiency for individuals’ daily life and improving
people
’s body health
First
 of all, as residents have been used to washing their clothes or other stuff by washing machines, a significant amount of time which was consumed by doing laundry previously is saved.
As a result
, the saved time can be used in other areas of
people’
Correct your spelling
people's
show examples
 life
such
 as watching TV, doing exercise or cooking,
thus
 contributing more ease and convenience for
people
’s life.
For instance
, young
people
, including me, always throw our dirty items into a
wash
Change the verb form
washing
show examples
 machine to wash them. During the wash time, we can go somewhere to catch up with friends or do grocery shopping, which is really less time-consuming.
In addition
, as the increasing
various
Replace the word
variety
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 of food which
is nourish
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nourishes
show examples
 can
be keep
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be kept
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 for a while due to refrigerators available. So, residents whether where they live are able to buy and have other regions’ fresh high-rank products,
thus
 a massive variety of nutrition is taken in, which helps
people
 build a strong body. As
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 illustration,
people
 who live in
china
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China
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 are able to have
Australia
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Australian
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 beef which is the best quality
meet
Correct your spelling
meat
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 around the world due to the advancement of
cool
Add an article
the cool
a cool
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store room
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storeroom
show examples
, which increases Chinese locals’ health. In conclusion, the invention of consumer items is a prosperous situation, which not only leads to more conform to
people
 but
also
 contributes to an improvement in fitness.
Submitted by strawberry.guan on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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