IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many countries are experiencing population growth and need to build more homes. Some say that new homes should be constructed in existing cities while others argue that new towns should be built to accommodate the growing population. What are the advantages and disadvantages of these points of view?

#countries #population #growth #homes #say #cities #towns #points
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Where to accommodate growing
population
 is divided society into two whether it must be in current places or need to develop
new
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the new
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 area. When
cities
 are modified to provide shelter for city dwellers, it could cause pressure on both
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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 and environment, and building residential houses in another location could bring some advantages.
This
 essay will look into the merits and demerits of the topic in the following paragraphs. Admittedly, building residential homes in
cities
 to counteract excessive
population
 has some minor merits.
First
 and foremost, when more residents in
cities
, which
contributing
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contribute
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 to
local
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the local
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 economy, and the place would experience a tremendous enrichment: more investments,
infra-structures
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infrastructures
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, more tourists and so on. Another obvious point here is that
,
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apply
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 the natives’ life would be both well-organized and
financially-independent
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financially independent
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. Despite the positives, the repercussions are more evident here; to illustrate
this
, congested roads, lack of green space, poor sanitation and anti-social behaviours are highly likely to soar;
therefore
, accommodating people in
cities
 may not be a clear decision. Regarding building a planned city to relocate the excessive
population
 effectively is beneficial.
In other words
, owing to the advancement of the place,
this
 creates many job opportunities
to
Change preposition
for
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 the locals.
Otherwise
, if they had resided in metropolitan areas, they would have lived in poverty.
For instance
,
in
Change preposition
apply
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the UAE, which has constructed modern villas, has adopted
the
Correct article usage
apply
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exactly the same approach,
moreover
, successful as well, irrespective of
high
Add an article
the high
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 initial cost.
Thus
,
this
 has more merits than demerits. In conclusion,
this
 essay has discussed both perspectives of where would be the best area to accommodate the growing
population
.
Submitted by Sal on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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