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Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

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According to the research by Times of India, people are contributing more
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 at the workplace and giving less
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 for extra curriculum activities. In my opinion, I think working for long hours and devoting less
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 to leisure will cause more harm to people than any benefits, that will bring. Admittedly, there are certain benefits to folk working for longer hours.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it will help humankind to satisfy their desired wants and needs. To elaborate
further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, working for more hours at the workplace ultimately leads to more money by which once will improve their standard of leaving, by buying luxury products. Even human can think about giving quality education to their children.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, nowadays it is more important to the person to show their talent and secure the job which is in hand.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in the old days, companies don't have to rely on anybody, to get their work done and serve their clients.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 has happened, due to vast competition in India, there are many candidates readily available to accept the job offer, so it becomes very important for a person to work hard and smart to be in the competition and guard their position.
Nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, despite the few advantages, I think mankind faces serious repercussion by working longer duration than it is suggested by researchers. These days, it is mostly seen that most of the jobs became sedentary and people end up eating more junk food than healthy meals, which ultimately leads to more health problems.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, obesity is a severe problem, which will end up in having multiple physical disorder as, heart disease, thyroid, anal fissure problem etc... On top of it,
a
Correct article usage
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It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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human being might have to go through major complications between their families and friends.
In other words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it might happen that their relatives and mates will go away from them and bonding between them will reduce and eventually, it will drive to depression. To summarise, having a long working hour and minimal
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 for leisure movement can provoke serious drawbacks namely, stationary work life and make family relations at stake conclusively head towards physical and mental health effects.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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