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Band 5.5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this happening? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development
Naw days , it has been advertised by
businesses
 that their production
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 the best and new .
although
 it can be a merit for companies , I think
this
 idea would be
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a disadvantage of advertising development . In the following essay , both of the
view
Change to a plural noun
views
show examples
 will be discussed.
Advertisements
 in
businesses
 might be effective to attract customers. When a company advertises for
it's produces
Change the verb form
it produces
show examples
 which are emphasised
that is
 new , many of
people
 can be familiar with the new services or tools .
This
 kind of notice
enciurages
Correct your spelling
encourages
 the public to purchasing goods and trying on the services. When technological devices
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been attended by
people
 around the world and if an organization advertises a
a
Remove the redundancy
apply
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new electronical
gadjet
Correct your spelling
gadget
gadgets
such
 as an intelligent mobile phone ,
people
 will be unattractive to buy it. It can
therefore
 be argued that the more marketings do notice for their produces , the more customer they can
Change the verb form
be had
show examples
be have
Correct your spelling
behave
show examples
 . Despite the fact that advertisement in
businesses
 would be profitable for their
successfully
Replace the word
success
show examples
, it may be a negative point for
people
 . When there is a competition between marketing to take
people
 attention to organisation attendances , some unrealistic
advertisements
 in some
businesses
 would
be appeared
Change to the active voice
appear
have appeared
show examples
. So , the public can not have satisfaction whit their buying as the result of some sham notices in some business about the produces. As an example , some customers order
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new erasers which the
durability
Replace the word
durable
show examples
materials used in the production are advertised by a stationary company while in
real
Add an article
a real
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 situation the erasers do not erase clearly .
Consequently
 ,
business
Add an article
the business
a business
show examples
 might do unreal
advertisements
 to compare whit other rivals in the same industry which create sham notices . In conclusion , in my view , if business
introduce
Change the verb form
introduces
show examples
 their new productions to
people
 , they will be able to
successful
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
 in their industry.
Also
 , as a
demerit
Add a comma
,demerit
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
comparative marketing is observed between companies which can be
cuse
Correct your spelling
cause
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 doing some
advertisements
that is
 unrealistic to give customers attentions.
Submitted by z.noori347 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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