In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this happening? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Naw days , it has been advertised by
businesses
that their production
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
the best and new .
although
it can be a merit for companies , I think
this
idea would be
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a disadvantage of advertising development . In the following essay , both of the
view
Change to a plural noun
views
show examples
will be discussed.
Advertisements
in
businesses
might be effective to attract customers. When a company advertises for
it's produces
Change the verb form
it produces
show examples
which are emphasised
that is
new , many of
people
can be familiar with the new services or tools .
This
kind of notice
enciurages
Correct your spelling
encourages
the public to purchasing goods and trying on the services. When technological devices
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
been attended by
people
around the world and if an organization advertises a
a
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
new electronical
gadjet
Correct your spelling
gadget
gadgets
such
as an intelligent mobile phone ,
people
will be unattractive to buy it. It can
therefore
be argued that the more marketings do notice for their produces , the more customer they can
Change the verb form
be had
show examples
be have
Correct your spelling
behave
show examples
. Despite the fact that advertisement in
businesses
would be profitable for their
successfully
Replace the word
success
show examples
, it may be a negative point for
people
. When there is a competition between marketing to take
people
attention to organisation attendances , some unrealistic
advertisements
in some
businesses
would
be appeared
Change to the active voice
appear
have appeared
show examples
. So , the public can not have satisfaction whit their buying as the result of some sham notices in some business about the produces. As an example , some customers order
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new erasers which the
durability
Replace the word
durable
show examples
materials used in the production are advertised by a stationary company while in
real
Add an article
a real
show examples
situation the erasers do not erase clearly .
Consequently
,
business
Add an article
the business
a business
show examples
might do unreal
advertisements
to compare whit other rivals in the same industry which create sham notices . In conclusion , in my view , if business
introduce
Change the verb form
introduces
show examples
their new productions to
people
, they will be able to
successful
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
in their industry.
Also
, as a
demerit
Add a comma
,demerit
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
comparative marketing is observed between companies which can be
cuse
Correct your spelling
cause
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
doing some
advertisements
that is
unrealistic to give customers attentions.
Submitted by z.noori347 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
What to do next:
Look at other essays: