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Band 6

Many working people get little or no exercise during the working day or in their free time, and hand health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

#people #exercise #time #hand #health
Nowadays, it is common to see how
people
is
Change the verb form
are
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 doing less and less exercise both working and in their free time. Along with
this
 lack of activity, comes an unhealthy way of
life
 that derives
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 health issues. In
this
 essay, it will be discussed the reason why
people
 is becoming more
sendetary
Correct your spelling
sedentary
 and some possible solutions to
this
 problem. The main possible cause for the increasing sedentarism in the workers' way of
life
, is
perphaps
Correct your spelling
perhaps
, the change in the world economy. It is obvious
than
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 in recent years physical jobs have decreased at the same rate that blue-collar positions have raised.
In other words
,
people
 stopped
from
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apply
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using their bodies to produce
wealthness
Correct your spelling
wealthiness
healthiness
 to use their brains, resulting in a less active way of
life
.
Besides
, another powerful reason can be found in the quick development of technology that has made
less
Correct pronoun usage
it less
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 necessary to go out of
home
Add an article
the home
show examples
.
For instance
, twenty years ago, if someone wanted to buy goods, they had to go
for
Change preposition
apply
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shopping and do some exercise, right now, just a couple of clicks are needed for the same purpose. To tackle
this
overwhealming
Correct your spelling
overwhelming
overheating
 problem, it is necessary that governments take actions. One idea
,
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apply
show examples
 might be to start awareness campaigns showing the negative effects that sedentarism has
over
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on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health.
For instance
, some ads
in
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on
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 television can
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
 how the lack of activity is related to
Correct your spelling
heart
show examples
hearth
Correct your spelling
heart
show examples
 diseases in the future. Along with
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 public measures, private companies can help as well. Enterprises can implement incentives,
such
 as
extra
Correct article usage
an extra
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 bonus, for their employees who use a bike
instead
 of a car to commute. To conclude, the root of the increasing inactivity of the general population
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 can be found in global changes in the economy and the evolution of technology.
However
, not everything is lost. If governments help to increase the awareness of the health problems caused by sedentarism, maybe,
people
 will start to change their habits and live a healthier
life
.
Submitted by camiloko1989 on

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