IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

An international company is offering a temporary job for work experience, write a letter to apply for that job. You need to explain -where did you find this information -why you want to apply this job -what qualification you have -what position you want to apply

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Dear Sir, I am Jacob, a resident of Brisbane colony, Australia. I am writing
this
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 letter to apply for the contractual post of
Data
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 Base Manager at your NewEra company in Surrey. First of all, I got
this
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job
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 information from the
Linkdin
Correct your spelling
LinkedIn
 website where I have a profile with the name @jacob007. Though it was in the section of temporary jobs with $25 per hour, I would love to express my consent for
this
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job
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. The prominent reason behind joining
this
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job
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 is because I will be in Surrey for six months from July 14th onwards and the joining date mentioned in the post is 20th July.
In addition
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 to
this
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, I find myself the most suitable candidate for
this
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job
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 as I have an open work permit for six
month
Change to a plural noun
months
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 and the duration of
this
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job
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 is four months.
Further
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, let me apprise you
with
Change preposition
of
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 my academic details for
this
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job
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. I have completed my
master
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master's
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 degree in database and management systems
along with
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 three years of experience in Microsoft Company's head branch in my country. I can handle any kind of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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data
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 error,
data
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 recovery and
data
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 encryption task easily.
This
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 is why, from 15 temporary posts, I request you to consider me for the post of
Data
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 Base Manager. I ensure you
to
Correct pronoun usage
I to
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 perform my cent per cent if you
would
Verb problem
apply
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select me for
this
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 position. Yours faithfully, Jacob Brown.

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Spelling
Consider checking the name of the platform 'Linkdin'. The correct spelling is 'LinkedIn'.
Accuracy
Be cautious about place names. Consider verifying 'Brisbane colony, Australia' to ensure it accurately represents your location and maintains the professional tone of your letter.
Tone
Maintain professionalism by avoiding casual language such as 'I find myself the most suitable candidate' which could be rephrased more formally.
Consistency
Ensure accuracy in your writing by reviewing 'I have an open work permit for six month and the duration of this job is four months.' for consistency in numeric and written numbers (months).
Structure
Structured paragraphs, each focusing on a specific topic, enhances readability and coherence.
Introduction/Conclusion
Clear and concise introduction and conclusion, providing a strong beginning and proper closure to the letter.
Content Relevance
Specific details about qualifications and experience directly address the job requirements, effectively supporting your application.
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