IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

For many, shopping malls are great places to spend their leisure time and meet othe.People, however, in the past mostly visited shopping malls when necessary.To what extent do you think this is a negative trend.

#malls #places #leisure #time #people #trend
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In these
Change preposition
These
show examples
 days, shopping complexes are majorly found in many cities and they have served many purposes, more than just selling products.
People
 in the past usually visited malls to purchase things, whereas now it has become a source of entertainment, fun and to spend spare time during weekends.In my opinion, I consider that these plazas have brought positive outcomes by serving
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
 in a range of ways.
Firstly
, it has been observed that these
gallerias
Correct your spelling
galleries
show examples
 are more than just simply shopping complex, buying clothes have
also
 become an enjoyable activity even there is no need for purchase, many individuals adopt
this
 as a therapeutic activity to relieve stress and anxiety and it will be not wrong to call
such
people
 shopaholic.
For example
, many doctors suggest
people
 with depression
to
Remove the particle
apply
show examples
perform
such
 activities, which gives them happiness regardless
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 fact that it is shopping which involves
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
show examples
 expenditure.
In addition
, shopping malls incorporated shops where
children's'
Correct your spelling
children
 can take
ride
Add an article
a ride
the ride
show examples
 and play various games, tickets are sold in the form of coupons through which kids can collect point and win toys and money
also
.
However
, parents show interest along with young ones in these stores. Another positive aspects related to plazas are it
contain
Change the verb form
contains
show examples
 multiplex cinemas, families can enjoy
movie
Add an article
the movie
show examples
 along with sumptuous food and drinks which are served on the seats with the help of attendants .
For example
, pizza, pasta, noodle, popcorn and whole menus are provided.Masses have become more accustomed to shopping complexes as compare to simple cinema halls that were present in the past.
People
 are thoroughly enjoying all of these facilities and consider them as part and parcel of life nowadays. In conclusion, In my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
,opinion
show examples
 shopping centres have given tough competition to
other kind
Change the wording
another kind
other kinds
show examples
 of stores which merely sell products or cinema hall where
people
 can only watch movies.Bringing all the facilities under
single
Add an article
a single
show examples
 roof has not only facilitated
people
 but
also
 expand their fun time and make it
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 mesmerizing activity than just shopping.
Submitted by agyapalsingh83 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: