IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the amount of income per household spent on different items in the UK in 2010 and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the amount of income per household spent on different items in the UK in 2010 and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The charts give information regarding the average expenditure
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
used on a range of products
as well as
Linking Words
 the percentage of items related to
nutrient
Fix the agreement mistake
nutrients
show examples
 and garment
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
consumed by residents
a
Change preposition
over a
show examples
period of 3 years. From a general perspective, the total income had a downward trend
while
Linking Words
 the population consume a range of items increased from 2010 to 2013.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the proportion of
costume
Fix the agreement mistake
costumes
show examples
 had the highest
rate
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 consumption. Looking at the first chart, it is immediately obvious that
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 sum of expenditure reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
29,000 before dropping to 25,000.
However
Linking Words
, the number of both nutrients and clothes slightly rose by 1000 over the
next
Linking Words
 3 years. We can be seen that the percentage of meat and fish was the highest
rate
Use synonyms
 in
household’s
Change noun form
household
show examples
 consumption.
However
Linking Words
, there
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
was a significant decrease from 25% to 15% between 2010 to 2013.
Next
Linking Words
, both
dairy
Correct article usage
the dairy
show examples
 product
Use synonyms
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
along with
Linking Words
 vegetarian food
Use synonyms
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 dramatically rose from 15% to 20% and 20% to 35% , respectively. The item with the highest percentage of consumption
was clothes
Change the verb form
was clothed
was clothing
show examples
 in 2013. There was a sharp fall of 10% in
vegetarian
Correct article usage
the vegetarian
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the number of consumers
used
Correct pronoun usage
who used
show examples
 other food and drinks
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
remained stable after 3 years.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, next".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words rate with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • percentage
  • household income
  • categories
  • comparison
  • increase/decrease
  • stable
  • proportion
  • highlight
  • illustrate
  • fluctuate
  • markeda change
  • significant
  • trend
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