IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

#offenders #crimes #first #punishment #measures
People
 often say that criminals can commit more crimes,
such
 as robbery, scams, among others
offenses
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offences
show examples
 after spending some time in jail. Because they enter in a toxic and violent environment full of offenders that are more dangerous than them. When criminals go to prison they enter
in
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apply
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a toxic environment. The permanent tenants are more dangerous
people
 and the new residents get in contact with them
,
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apply
show examples
 because they need to form alliances in order to survive, get food and other facilities that if they were alone they could not have. Another possible cause why many offenders when they get out of jail relapse in the same habits is the
violens
Correct your spelling
violence
violent
. The Prisons are always known for having incidents.
For example
 the killing of a tenant in his cell by a mafia or the beating of a recluse in the bathrooms.
Also
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,Also
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 some criminals relapse because they do not find opportunities when they return to the world. It
is often know
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is often known
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 that many companies, restaurants, business do not want to hire
people
 to have offenders
such
 as
,
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apply
show examples
drug
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a drug
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 used, robbery, scams, among others
,
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apply
show examples
 because the managers think that could bring
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
 aspect to the business if
people
 get to know but
also
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 is a chance that they relapse and put the business in danger.
Submitted by cortez.damaris on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • recidivism
  • rehabilitation programs
  • social stigma
  • ex-convicts
  • reintegration
  • support systems
  • mental health issues
  • addiction problems
  • criminal networks
  • incarceration
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