IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Traditional ideas from older people about the way to live and behave are not helpful to young people and their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #future
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In developing India nearly 90
percent
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per cent
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 youngsters do work as well as depend on new technology like
Add an article
a smart
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smart phone
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smartphone
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, internet , some machines
ect
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etc
. And their lifestyle
have
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has
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 changes sometimes smart but sometimes not. So, old
people
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 try to understand them about traditional
ideas
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 how to live healthy as well as
stress free
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stress-free
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. but some
people
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 claim that
its
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it's
it is
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 not helpful for us. Now
in
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,in
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 my opinion, I think I
am totally agree
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totally agree
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to
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with
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above
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the above
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 statement because older
people
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 have experience about how to live and behave so,
there
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their
show examples
ideas
Use synonyms
 are always helpful for youngsters.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, older peoples enjoy
there
Replace the word
their
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 life very naturally
there
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their
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 woke up time and sleeping time are fixed they do
proper
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the proper
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 diet as well as exercise that’s the reason they live
long
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a long
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 life.
Moreover
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, they take care of
environment
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the environment
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 . and respect
younger
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the younger
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 . they do daily worship and believe
on
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in
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 natural therapy .
although
Linking Words
 they have
a knowledge
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knowledge
a piece of knowledge
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 about how to use natural medicines.
Secondly
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,
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 young
people
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 do not want any advice from others as well as they do not want stay in
joint
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a joint
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 family. Because of that reason they behave as
self centred
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self-centred
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. In young
peoples
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,peoples
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 we don’t see
touchyness
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touchiness
toughness
now a days
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nowadays
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
 because of their busy
sheduld
Correct your spelling
should
schedule
 they don’t want to follow traditional
ideas
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 which came from older
people
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.
Thirdly
Linking Words
Linking Words
for
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,for
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 example, nearly 80
percent
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per cent
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teenagers
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of teenagers
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 are addicted
towards
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to
show examples
 watching TV, playing video games, mobile phones etc. if they got advice to play outdoor games like running , swimming etc from olders
people
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then
Linking Words
 they are not interested
what
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in what
show examples
 they say equally they think
its
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it's
it is
show examples
 not helpful for us.
Lastly
Linking Words
 in my point of view always accept traditional
ideas
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 from our older one because they have many years of experience as well as these
ideas
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 are very helpful for well being. In opposite of that
olders
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holders
elders
 don’t force to
youngster
Add an article
the youngster
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
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 following conventional
ideas
Use synonyms
 in
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 way . young
people
Use synonyms
 follow them with their point of view.
Submitted by padmajakulkarni140 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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