IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

The food industry is currently reaching to the new level, today, the imported food is the top favored choice, however some people think that eating it will bring back some drawbacks. Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

#food #industry #level #choice #people
Nowadays, people like to eat western
food
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
 of its popularity but many believe that it has many downsides
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health
. I believe that it has
many
Correct quantifier usage
more
show examples
 demerits than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
merits.
Firstly
, eating
foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
food
 has
sevre
Correct your spelling
severe
health
 issues
such
 as breathing problem, gaining more weight and many more.
Other
Change the wording
Another
show examples
 thing is to preserve an imported
food
contain
Correct pronoun usage
that contain
show examples
 many chemicals which
also
 highly affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our body. The freshly cooked meals always contain more protein and vitamins which are good for
health
 and make
Correct your spelling
our
show examples
are
Correct your spelling
our
show examples
 immune system healthy.
Secondly
, the
foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
food
 is much expensive as compared to the country own
food
.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 the people move
Correct your spelling
far away
show examples
faraway
Correct your spelling
far away
show examples
 from their culture
cusines
Correct your spelling
cuisine
 just to show off our standard in the communities. Many people spend most of their money on eating other nation
food
 which put directly impact on their budgets.
For instance
, in
Indian
Add a comma
,Indian
show examples
 the survey shows that Pizza and burgers are the
top most
Correct your spelling
topmost
show examples
 priority
food
 of every individual and which have high prices. The only advantage to
have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
 imported
food
 is that it is ready to eat and has different taste which
peope
Correct your spelling
people
 like the most. To be concluded, the imported
food
contain
Change the verb form
contains
show examples
 various supplyments which affected our
health
. So I believe that it has many
demrits
Correct your spelling
demerits
 than that of merits.
Submitted by mandeepsandhu7067 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: