IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#universities #numbers #students
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
University is a place for people to acquire tertiary education and prepare for their job
prospectus
Correct your spelling
prospects
show examples
. Some argue that universities should accept equal numbers of male and female student in every
subject
Use synonyms
 . As far as I am concerned, I do not agree with it.
First
Linking Words
 of all, university education should be based on talent and performance rather than equal
gender
Use synonyms
 opportunity. Balancing between genders may strip away the opportunity of some male or female candidates. These talented candidates will
then
Linking Words
 lose their chances to pursue their dream because of the limited admission requirement. In reality, there is no harm if more female
students
Use synonyms
be
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 accepted for their good academic performance rather than
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
gender
Use synonyms
 reason.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Even though subjects including arts, business,medicine are popular for both
gender
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
, there are some subjects more suitable for one
gender
Use synonyms
 than the other. Some jobs in the current society rely on a higher physical condition
such
Linking Words
 as carpenter, electronic engineers, fireman which are not suitable for female
students
Use synonyms
 while not that many male
students
Use synonyms
 prefer to study nursing which needs delicate touch to people. Every student should have the right to compete for the chance of getting educated on their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
subject
Use synonyms
 in the university no matter who
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 are. Following the natural selection that survivals are the fittest, female
students
Use synonyms
 should compete fairly with male
students
Use synonyms
 so that everyone will get their talent utilized and will not deprive the opportunity to
chose
Change the verb
choose
show examples
 the
interested
Replace the word
interesting
show examples
subject
Use synonyms
 because of the
gender
Use synonyms
 issue. All in all, it is more important to give priority to the talented candidates to chose
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 subjects
instead
Linking Words
 of pursuing
identical
Change the article
an identical
the identical
show examples
 number of female and male
students
Use synonyms
 for every
subject
Use synonyms
, which would end up with good result
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the development of
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 society.
Submitted by lynn.hu100 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender diversity
  • fostering innovation
  • educational experience
  • enforcing gender quotas
  • merit and potential
  • individual achievements
  • natural differences
  • gender equality
  • reducing gender stereotypes
  • balanced workforce
  • traditionally male-dominated or female-dominated fields
  • fluctuating applicant numbers
  • compromise on quality
  • diversity aspects
What to do next:
Look at other essays: