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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people say that outdoor activities bring benefits to children's development rather than computer games, To what extent do you agree/disagree?

#people #activities #children #development #computer #games
There are those who argue that open-air leisures are more
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 to the youth than modern
games
. The paragraphs below will outline a partial agreement to
this
 trend
,
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apply
show examples
 because despite playing outside can relax and improve
resistence
Correct your spelling
resistance
 and body strength, modern
games
 display upsides as well,
such
 as boosting cognitive skills.
To begin
 with, some open-air activities,
as
Replace the word
like
show examples
 sports, are important to diminish muscle tension and strengthen the core. During growth,
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 nowadays, the persistent position of the neck and arms to look at computers' and smartphones' screen leads to neckache and backache.
Thus
, practising exercises can diminish muscle pain, as it improves its force.
Moreover
, outside leisures are helpful to avoid mental illnesses. During childhood, the body metabolism is accelerated and more energy is required to be wasted. To cite an example, even puppies and kittens play more than adult dogs and cats, because it is necessary to distress.
Therefore
, encouraging the youth to run and jump is essential to relax,
enhencing
Correct your spelling
enhancing
 their well-being.
However
, computer
games
 have important benefits as
enhencing
Correct your spelling
enhancing
 creativity. Several
games
 dispose of missions and phases that demand the player to find some way out through thinking in the information and tips given.
Hence
, electronic
games
 are
also
 important to develop children's problem-solving skills. To conclude, I somewhat agree that outdoors
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
 are important to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youth development.
Although
,
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apply
show examples
 it has
plent
Correct your spelling
plenty
 of positive points
such
 as helping children to improve muscle
resistence
Correct your spelling
resistance
 and to relax through wasting extra energy, electronic
games
 can
enhence
Correct your spelling
enhance
 cognitive functions.
Submitted by alexandretco on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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