IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that single-sex schools are better than mixed schools. Others believe that mixed-sex schools are the only way for children to learn. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #schools #mixed-sex #children
There are some single-sex
schools
 existing around the world, but not in a large quantity.
Single-sex
Change the article
A single-sex
show examples
school
 is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
education
 approach that student learning
under
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 environment that only has
single
Add a hyphen
single-gender
show examples
gender
, but
mixed-sex
school
 is normal. I think
mixed-sex
school
 is better for
students
 to improve themselves and is sexual equality. The main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 creating single-sex
schools
 is that
school
 can
maximising
Change the verb form
maximise
be maximising
show examples
 the utility of their
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
 resources. Different
gender
 thinking in different ways and may good at different
subjects
. Male may more specialise in science lessons than female, and female may be more consistent in arts and humanities lessons.
Also
, after they graduated, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
males
Add an article
the males
show examples
 chose
science related
Add a hyphen
science-related
show examples
 fields as their jobs and females chose humanities respectively. If teachers educating
single
Add a hyphen
single-gender
show examples
gender
students
 like male, they can concentrate more human or
finance
Replace the word
financial
show examples
 resources
into
Change preposition
on
show examples
science related
Add a hyphen
science-related
show examples
subjects
 to improve their
education
 quality.
In addition
, single-sex
schools
 are useful for preventing younger
students
 from
early
Add an article
an early
the early
show examples
 relationship which may highly affect their
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
 performance.
However
,
students
 should try different
subjects
, but it will be very queer if a female student
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to learn her favourite
subjects
 but only popular in a male
school
.
Mixed-sex
school
 should be a better structure to offer diverse options for
students
. According to some reports, female
students
 studying at
mixed-sex
schools
 were more likely to explore and concentrate on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
non-traditional familiarising
subjects
 like physics and physical--due to the
classmates
Change to a genitive case
classmate's
classmates'
show examples
 teamwork and without feeling loneliness.
Moreover
, male and female have different strengths and their thinking approaches are
slight
Change the adjective
slightly
show examples
 different,
that is
 good for the development of some
subjects
.
For example
, in management and law classes, different
gender
students
 have different views, males may consider more about the practical sides and females in the emotional sides, which can be exchanged and improved easily. In my opinion, it is important to have
mixed-sex
schools
. In
additional
Replace the word
addition
show examples
 to the above advantage of
mixed-sex
school
,
school
 is mirroring the real world,
students
 should learn how to communicate, especially between different
gender
. Separating student with different
gender
 may create a communication barrier between them in the future. It
also
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 important factor
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the developments of
students
.
Submitted by huangjiancong863 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: