The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years.Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend?
Linking Words
Overall
ratio of youngsters who are obese in Add an article
The overall
western
nations like the US, England, Mexico, Capitalize word
Western
Germany
Correct word choice
and Germany
is
elevated to twenty per cent in past decades. In Verb problem
has
this
essay, I Linking Words
would
discuss the reason and impact of having an unhealthy Wrong verb form
will
lifestyle
.
Use synonyms
Firstly
, the main cause for Linking Words
overweight
is lack of physical activity and following Add a missing verb
being overweight
up
the worst Change preposition
apply
diet
Use synonyms
plan
. Use synonyms
For instance
, In India, only 20% of adults are engaging in physical activity, Linking Words
while
10% of Indians only Linking Words
maintaining
the proper Wrong verb form
maintain
diet
Use synonyms
plan
. Use synonyms
This
implies that might be an average of 15% of society leads a healthy Linking Words
lifestyle
. Another reason is eating unhealthy foods like fast foods, under-nutritional products, and so on. Smoking, Use synonyms
drinking
Correct word choice
and drinking
also
result in a meagre impact on our Linking Words
lifestyle
.
Use synonyms
However
, there is an adverse impact of leading Linking Words
this
unhealthy Linking Words
lifestyle
. Primarily, it results in a variety of diseases like cardiovascular disease, high blood pressure, and so on. Use synonyms
For instance
, in the US more than 60%
of people are dying Linking Words
due to
heart-related Linking Words
disease
mainly because of not having a healthy Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
lifestyle
. Use synonyms
Moreover
, obesity can affect our generation too. Fat people tend to produce more stress-induced hormones called cortisol and they are struggling to remember the thing maybe it indirectly connects to memory loss.
In conclusion, lack of outdoor activity and not maintaining the proper Linking Words
diet
Use synonyms
plan
is the main cause of Use synonyms
overweight
and it results in a number of diseases Add a missing verb
being overweight
to
our body. Change preposition
in
However
, Linking Words
this
can be overcome by doing high-intensity Linking Words
workout
and a Fix the agreement mistake
workouts
high nutritional
Add a hyphen
high-nutritional
diet
Use synonyms
plan
.Use synonyms
Submitted by Mohammed abdul
on
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task response
The essay addresses the main causes and effects of a disturbing trend but lacks a clear and well-developed structure. The points are not fully supported with relevant examples, and the conclusion is abrupt and does not summarize the main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a coherent and well-organized structure. There is a lack of clear progression of ideas within paragraphs, and the introduction and conclusion could be more effectively developed to provide a stronger framework for the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.