IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree ?

#growth #shops #towns #cities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no doubt that technology has revolutionised the way
people
Use synonyms
 shop. While some individuals hold the view that, in the near future, shops in small towns would close, I would argue that
this
Linking Words
 is rarely to occur as for the reasons provided below.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
,with
show examples
 the main cause, which contributes to
people
Use synonyms
 depending on local shops in their regions, is the need for purchasing daily grocery.
This
Linking Words
 is because families often buy it on a daily basis, and if they decide to shop online, there would be a potential opportunity for the order to be delayed, and the products, especially fruits and fresh vegetables, might arrive spoilt and damaged. Another reason could be the tendency of some
people
Use synonyms
 to browse more than one shop to buy, considering the difference in prices and the expiry dates of products.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the ability to access online stores and purchasing requires two vital things, which help the consumer to process the operation, and those would be a bank account with a valid credit card as well as easy access to the internet.
In other words
Linking Words
, many consumers find it difficult to surf the internet and hate to deal with banks, not only that but
such
Linking Words
 services may not be affordable for everyone. An illustrative example is that elderly
people
Use synonyms
 usually face problems when utilizing websites, and the only purpose for them to be online would be reading news, which deemed to the lack of their skills on electronic devices. In conclusion, having explored the causes above, I want to reiterate my stance that the disappearing of local shops in small towns might not be a real argument.
This
Linking Words
 is because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 lack of internet skills and finance issues that could face customers.
Submitted by Anfal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
What to do next:
Look at other essays: