IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

New parents should attend parenting courses to bring up their children well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#parents #courses #children
These days modern couples try several methods to deal with life changes. Wherefore some claim that they should attend kind of sessions to train them how to raise their children . From my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
 I highly recommend that. On one hand, many people think that being a parent is an innate thing so, no need to have any training to
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
 in
this
 work.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 moms born with the ability
of taking
Replace the preposition
to take
show examples
 care of their kids
moreover
, dads become responsible at the moment when they hold their child.
On the other hand
, others believe that parenting is a complex duty which
is requires
Change the verb form
requires
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
proper training.
Although
 that gaining a skill comes after practice but, training will pave the way
firstly
Replace the word
first
show examples
. Nowadays, different social issues have affected people’s mental health for that, parenting sessions will give them the chance to avoid raising mistakes and I agree with that as well. In one word, in spite of having a child one of the life grace but , raising them is a hard task needs a massive capacity. I strongly believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 attending
parenting
Correct article usage
a parenting
show examples
 course will improve the parent’s performance in many different ways.
Submitted by yahyagamal2010 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: