IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The media should limit how much bad news they report because it discourages people from doing activities which usually involve very little risk. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#media #limit #news #report #people #activities #risk
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Most announcement reports tend to be sensational and shocking.
However
, some people think that media should limit the broadcasting of bad news since people are scared to take up even small
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 in their
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
 livelihood. I completely disagree with
this
 statement, and
this
 essay will argue why it is necessary to broadcast all types of
message
Fix the agreement mistake
messages
show examples
 irrespective of the weightage of risk.
Few
Correct determiner usage
The
show examples
 public has the perception that reporting scary
announcement
Fix the agreement mistake
announcements
show examples
 in
news
Correct article usage
the news
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 tends to decrease the aspiration to do great things. People believe so because that information tends to decrease our confidence and makes us stay safe rather than trying to do something new.
For instance
, we intend to think twice to go to hilly areas, if we come across the story in the newspaper that someone had slipped from the hilltop. But on the other side, it is the duty of the publishment
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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to demonstrate the crime scene vividly to the public,
however
 dreadful it might be. It is up to every individual to stay cautious and responsible for themselves. Accidents are common, but we should be careful to avoid unpleasant situations.
For example
, we won't stop driving if we
met
Wrong verb form
meet
show examples
 with an accident , but we will be extra vigilant
while
 taking the vehicle out next time.
Likewise
, when they show a threatful occurrence on TV, it should be considered as an alert notification, preventing us from
doing
Verb problem
making
show examples
 the same mistake. In conclusion,
this
 essay
argued
Wrong verb form
argues
show examples
 that the main aim of media is to bring all the incidents happening around the world, to public notice.
Finally
,
instead
 of blaming the media, it would be better if we take ownership of each announcement as an informational alert and stay attentive at all times.
Submitted by chigurupati on

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Task Response - 2
Improve the organization of your essay by structuring it coherently with clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Additionally, provide more specific examples to support your arguments and ensure that all ideas are relevant to the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion - 3
The introduction and conclusion need to be more clearly presented. Work on building a stronger logical structure in your essay to improve coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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