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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The charts show the info about the use of Internet in five countries in Europe in 2000.

The charts show the info about the use of Internet in five countries in Europe in 2000.
#show #info #internet #five #countries #europe
The charts give information regarding the percentage of
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 to
use
 the
internet
as well as
 how
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
 the average spending
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 shopping
through
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
internet
 in five countries in Europe in the year 2000. From a general perspective, the proportion of Swedish used the
internet
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
had the highest rate.
In addition
, the united kingdom where was the highest
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 the
internet
 to go shopping in 2000. Looking at the first graph, it is obvious immediately seen that there was the lowest
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 spending
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 amount of time
to
Change the verb form
using
show examples
use
 the
internet
,
made
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 up 5%.
On the other hand
, the population of France , Germany and the United Kingdom tend to
use
 the
internet
 more time than Spain. They consisted of 10%,15% and 20% respectively.
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Sweden country had the highest position with the percentage of users who consumed the
internet
, which made up 35%. It can be seen that the average users consumed online shopping
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 had the highest position in the UK
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for 87% .
Next
, the
second
 countries
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Sweden , France and Germany
where
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 made up 76%, 57% and 46% respectively. ,
Finally
Add a comma
,Finally
show examples
 the inhabitants
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 Spain used online shopping at least, just 10%.
Submitted by caomyphuong3004 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words use, internet with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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