IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Surveillance cameras in banks, officers, shops and streets have been very successful in reducing crime in the workplace and in public, but they are also a tool for their users to spy on people private business. What problems do the use of surveillance cameras create? Is there any solution?

#surveillance #cameras #banks #officers #shops #streets #crime #workplace #tool #users #spy #people #business
The progress in modern technology has completely transformed, how criminals are monitored. In the modern era,
surveillance
cameras
 are commonly used everywhere to alleviate the
crime
 rate. But
this
 creates a lot of other problems. I have a mixed opinion on
this
 issue as there are both pros and cons of using
surveillance
cameras
.
To begin
 with, the primary concern of the public is the privacy issue by the usage of
surveillance
cameras
.
For example
, Edward Snowden, an American cybersecurity expert, who worked for NSA, revealed in 2013 how the
surveillance
 programs were conducted to gather people personal data.
Moreover
, another concern is the data breach. We have seen events in the past where databases of government, as well as private organizations, were hacked and that data was sold on the dark web exposing the weakness of
surveillance
 programs.
On the other hand
, there are a lot of advantages of
surveillance
 that cannot be neglected. Due to
surveillance
, the
crime
 rate has been reduced to a minimum level over the
last
 few years.
For example
, research depicts the decrease in the number of terror activities around the globe and all the credit goes to the complex system of
surveillance
. Another fascinating feature is that the law enforcement agencies capture the criminal, even before the
crime
 by assessing its suspicious activities via
cameras
.
For example
, a terrorist was captured due to his suspicious activities by a CCTV camera, he was not aware of that eventually protect us from massive destruction. To conclude, the government should take some concrete steps to eradicate the confusion. Plus,to alleviate the
crime
 rate,
surveillance
 is necessary in the modern world.
However
, the government should try to enforce the rules and regulations concerning privacy or other related issues.
Submitted by mharis083 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: