Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?h

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Prohibiting deadly sports items,
for instance
Linking Words
, boxing and martial arts is argued by many, and some think that these should be not only banned from broadcasting on televisions
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
mega events
Add a hyphen
mega-events
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, I agree with the statement
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
a large extent, the sporting activities could lead to death, even though
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
could be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
undemocratic. One of the main reasons why I support the prohibition of bloody
games
Use synonyms
is
life threatening
Add a hyphen
life-threatening
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
, while engaging the wild
games
Use synonyms
which tend to hurt and injure participants, even, may lead to death.
For instance
Linking Words
, it has been noted many incidents in the history of sports, many martial artists have been killed in stages due to the violent nature of the game.
Therefore
Linking Words
, Under no circumstance should be banned.
Secondly
Linking Words
, dangerous
games
Use synonyms
may send wrong messages to society. Killing or inflating pain is unacceptable in the name of sports, which is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
poisonous, but supporters of
such
Linking Words
games
Use synonyms
may argue that gamers have the freedom to choose what is good or bad for them. Even though it is often argued in terms of
democratic
Replace the word
democracy
show examples
, ultimately, humans’ life is so special and it
is need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
to be preserved. If
killing
Add an article
the killing
show examples
was permitted for fun, it would create tremendous repercussions in mankind, so, in my opinion, I firmly believe that these
games
Use synonyms
needless to be restricted from telecasting
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
television as children may be badly influenced. In conclusion, people have different opinions regarding whether martial arts and boxing to be banned and not be telecasted or not. I personally consider prohibition need to be imposed to save the participants and prevent viewers
getting
Change preposition
from getting
show examples
influenced by wrong messages.
Submitted by Sal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: