🔶Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugar products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. 🔸Do you agree or disagree?

#🔶many #food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people #🔸do

Many health issues have appeared by high levels of

sugar

used in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

food and drink production. Consumption of

sugar

should be declined by making it expensive. I agree with

this

idea because it can be beneficial to decrease using

this

ingredient and some diseases. In the following essay , the reasons for my agreement will be discussed. The main cause of making

sugar

expensive to reduce buying it would be the fact that when productions costs are high , it will be hard to purchase them .

Moreover

this

difficulty can be the cause of decreasing in

sugar

consumption.

Also

, reduction in

sugar

used encourages people to set other substances

such

as honey and brown

sugar

instead

sugar

which is healthier . As an example , drinking tea in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

breakfast with honey is healthier than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sugar

and it is profitable to improve cardiovascular problems. It should be

therefore

said the

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

public can not have a healthy living unless by taking less

sugar

in their meals that it would be possible by going up the

sugar

prices.

Additionally

, there is another reason to consider a high cost for

sugar

. There are many factories

which

Change preposition

in which

show examples

their food manufactures can not be produced unless by using

sugar

Furthermore

, manufacturers will not be able to purchase gross

sugar

because of its heavy expense .

Therefore

, The fewer factories can provide

sugar

, the fewer productions which contain

sugar

biscuit

Fix the agreement mistake

biscuits

show examples

, chocolate will manufacture and

its

Correct your spelling

it's

show examples

a gain

Correct your spelling

again

show examples

on people health. In conclusion , in my view , if

sugar

is made expensive , it will

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

a positive influence on health. Because consumption of

sugar

can go down as

the

Correct article usage

show examples

result of being difficult to provide.

Submitted by z.noori347 on Wed Jun 30 2021

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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🔶Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugar products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. 🔸Do you agree or disagree?

At the present, the population of some countires includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that watching big events like sports and the Olympics on TV encourage adults to exercise regularly. While others disagree that there are other effective ways of getting them to exercise. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the goverment is responsible for crime prevention. Others think that it is individuals responsibility to pretocet themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that secondary schools should spend less time teaching traditional subjects like history and spend more time on teaching subjects like communication skills and business. Do you agree or disagree with this view?