Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It
undeniable that the Add a verb
isIt
wasIt
people
cannot get the same paid from different career and a
gab of paid between some jobs is huge in our society. Remove the article
apply
Therefore
, some people
believe that the rate of job
paid in entertain industry like singers, models and film stars would be better than others. While I support Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
this
statement because most of
Change preposition
apply
celebrities
gain lots of money from their works, I Add an article
the celebrities
also
disagree since there are several people
who work in other segments and still get high income. In this
essay
I will illustrate two reasons that why some Add a comma
,essay
of
Change preposition
apply
entertainment
workers have Add an article
the entertainment
became
millionaires and other careers that tend to have high Change the verb form
become
salary
paid either.
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
To begin
with, the two main causes that make group
of Add an article
a group
people
who work with entertainment became superrich are varied. First
of all, the compettition
Correct your spelling
competition
is
Correct your spelling
in
this
industry has been dramatically risen
these days. The Change to the active voice
dramatically risen
film
Correct your spelling
filmmakers
makers
willing to Add a verb
aremakers
weremakers
paid
higher money Change the form of the verb
pay
for
Change preposition
to
hire
the most Change the form of the verb
hiring
popularity
stars for their rating. Replace the word
popular
Secondly
, it is obviosly
that most of their money Correct your spelling
obviously
obvious
is come
from their famous Change to the active voice
comes
has come
which
have their fans who willing to support them. So, there are various Correct pronoun usage
who
of
stars who decided to open their own business, Change preposition
apply
for example
, Rihanna, an American singer who has been selling her their own cosmetics for over 3 years. Not surprisingly, most of her customers are her fans who is
obsessed with her songs and other products.
Change the verb form
are
On the other hand
, some segments, for instance
, IT, Financial and Logistic could give high payment to their employees as well. Although
, people
who mostly get the high paid, is
Change the verb form
are
people
who work as executive
or higher level. To sum up, It Add an article
an executive
seem
to me that the trend of career has been changed in Change the verb form
seems
this
century. Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
people
pay attention
Correct quantifier usage
more attention
on
their paid more than Change the preposition
to
the
past. In my opinion, it does not depends on the career. It would be better if Change preposition
in the
people
could do any job without concern about their paid
.Change the form of the verb
pay
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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion